Today, I babysat for two little girls, who wanted to play 'mermaids'. I smiled, and said that I would love to play with them. The older girl laughed, saying "You can't be a mermaid. Mermaids are pretty." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at the Mommy and Me dance class that I take my four year old daughter to, the instructor had us do a stretch, telling us to pretend we're mermaids. My daughter said to me, "But you're not a mermaid, you're a whale!" FML
Today, I was babysitting a little girl, and we were playing with dolls. After we fed her babies, we put them down for a nap. After a few minutes, I asked if they'd had enough sleep. She looked at me like I was a freak and said, "Uh, they're not real babies, you know…" FML
Today, I dyed my hair purple. I came out of the salon and a little girl walked past and said, "Wow, you look like a mermaid!", to which her mother quickly said, "No she doesn't, she looks like her parents don't love her." FML
Today, I visited my girlfriend in the preschool she's interning at. She asked me to continue reading The Little Mermaid to her class, handing me the book. After the story, the whole class started to cry. She never told me to sugarcoat the ending and lie, Disney-style. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 5-year-old girl and we were coloring. She made me a card that was very sweet, so I smiled. She looked at me and went "Don't smile, your smile is really scary." FML
Today, I was babysitting a one year-old. She'd just learned how to say yes, so if you asked her ANYTHING, she'd say yes. I asked her if she liked vegetables and she said, "Yes!" Then I asked her if I was pretty. She looked at me and said, "NO." FML
Today, two of my friends condemned me for being "narrow-minded", because I couldn't help but laugh at the thought that someone would believe mermaids actually exist. FML
Today, I got fired from a great babysitting job because the little girl said I was boring. FML
Today, I tried to pick up two girls by asking them what time it was. They burst out laughing. FML
Today, I was performing a show about pirates for a youth program. A child started crying because I wasn't a real pirate. A little girl took my defense, saying, "He's a real pirate, his teeth are all yellow!" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Melanie_fml 0
I'd have responded back, "and they have to have boobs, so I guess YOU won't be playing! Now let's play a rousing game of hide n' go seek...you go hide!" And then I'd have started reading a book.
Guiseppi 0
You should have told her that she was adopted.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (77)
kelther 0
this is definitely the most unique FML ever!
hellomynameis_ 0
#10, good idea. Punching the little girls in the face is also a good idea.
Deuce600 0
#3 Lol
NoThankYouu 0
bahah at #10.
tweets 0
lol the same thing happened to me... xcept it was my mom who said it "hey mom i wanna be an actress" "u cant be an actress bcuz actresses r pretty" FML
audiogasmic 0
hey #3 you're kind of an asshole. i'm adopted and i don't really take things like that serious but what if she turned out to really be adopted? yeah, insert foot in mouth and chew. usually if someone makes an adoption joke at me without knowing im' really adopted i pretend to get super upset and make them feel like shit for a bit. haaaa. :]
ihatemylife10000 0
I was adopted to
Carribu 0
lmfao @ #3 and #10 #16, if i'd have done that, i wouldn't have felt guilty. anyway, i think #10 was riiiiiiight
brian_fml 0
I agree, your life is ******.
shorgenfunkel 0
#15: Similar thing happened with my mom once, I'm a dude though: "You look like you could be an actor... in a postmodern movie, because they have average looking actors in those." I found it pretty funny, but that's only because the truth is funny.
alex_vik 1
I bet I know which group they'll be in in middle/high school.