Today, for my art project, I spent hours painting my whole body in black spots with acrylic paint. I then went and stood outside in the snow, naked, so I could take pictures of it. Only then to find out the camera was out of batteries. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after some cajoling, I finally posed naked for my long-term partner and his Polaroid camera. After saying he would cherish the intimate snapshots forever, he almost immediately forgot them on a crowded bus. FML
Today, I was lining a soccer field. I had the entire grid laid out, so I began to paint with a handheld cart. I finished the entire field without looking back once. I forgot to put paint in the cart. I walked around a field for an hour painting with air. FML
Today, I went to buy some spray paint for a project. I've never used a spray can before, so I decided to try it on paper provided. Unfortunately I didn't hold the can the right way and ended up with black, permanent, paint all over my face in the middle of a store. FML
Today, I woke up early to watch the sunrise from the top of a mountain after a two-hour hike in the dark. I reached the summit just in time for the most spectacular sunrise… then realized that my camera battery had been sitting on the charger at home the entire time. FML
Today, I finished a painting I'd spent 3 weeks working on for an exhibition. When I came back from lunch, my cat was perched above it on my desk. He looked at me, then down at the painting, then jumped down onto it. He slipped and smeared the wet paint everywhere, ruining the whole thing. FML
Today, I was working on a painting and went to take a sip of my tea. Instead, I took a swig of paint water. FML
Today, it was my high school graduation. I brought my camera to capture these last memories, only to discover that the batteries were dead. When I got home and went to change them, I realized they were not dead, they were just put in the wrong way. FML
Today, I was painting my mom's house, which so far had taken 12 hours over two days. All of a sudden there was a wind storm. All of the leaves stuck to the wet paint. FML
Today, as a respected artist, I was running a workshop with a bunch of rowdy college kids. I was in the middle of demonstrating a painting technique when I accidentally washed my paintbrush in my coffee instead of my paint water. They waited until I then drank from it to burst out in hysterics. FML
Today, in my art class we had to paint a nude portrait of a fat, old woman. About halfway through the piece, and while painting her fat rolls, I realized she was the only person other than myself I had ever seen naked. FML
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Top comments
Ascaryrobot 0
Were you going to be the human dalmation?
strawberryswirl 0
YDI for thinking that's art.
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Comments (191)
c0nfuzzled 0
@ Hanouchka. By defining art as pretty and decorative. you show that you are just as dumb as the OP. do u find "The Scream" a majorly known piece of art, "pretty"? no, I really doubt u would want to "decorate" your house with that. Art is the expression of the human soul and mind.
London_IceQueen 0
White people are crazy
artiststatement 21
Really? You used acrylic? Did your teachers never tell you that acrylics can cause cancer? Especially red. So at least you didn't use red.
ultravioletfoil 0
That's cadmium red (and you forgot to mention yellow). Many acrylic paints come non-toxic these days, and although they're not completely non-toxic, they're safe enough to get on skin.
mustang67 0
I think you should be more concerned that you just painted dots on yourself laid naked in the snow than that your batteries died. Don't have kids and YDI
jennifermm1986 0
change another battory or wait until it's been charged;)
bowtheboo 0
I think it could be pretty. Art is anything you want it to be. It doesn't have restrictions on what can be called "art" or not. a scribble on a paper can be art if someone sees it that way.
jchansfan 0
Art is so vague. Like I personally don't see the appeal or importance that some people place in a lot of supposed "art", but at the same time, someone else apparently does. Like I personally think the amount of recongnition Picasso's weird paintings get is completely absurd, but that's just me. Though i won't lie, people that mellodramatically go on about their so called "art" endlessly when it is weird abstract stuff like the Op's project get on my nerves... lol... XD
ultravioletfoil 0
Art used to be about recreating, capturing, and/or portraying moments. Since the invention of the camera in the early 1900's, that had to change, because what's the point of taking two months to paint a realistic scene when you could just easily take a picture that's as equally beautiful? Picasso was a master in realism as well (look at his early stuff, it's awesome), but he helped pioneer a new type of art. Also if you actually learn the elements + principles of art and design, you will be able to understand non-realism art much better. Though I really don't get why some pieces, like scribbles in random colors (not even complementary, or harmonious, or analogous...you get my point. Like, truly random), are priced at $5000 or something crazy.
DutchCourage 0
Wow I guess "Art" is not what it used to be. Why don't you go rub peanut butter all over yourself and stand in the backyard and take pictures while the local wildlife comes and eats it off. Now THAT'S art...
Boddmon 0
**** pictures, video tape that shit!
ultravioletfoil 0
As an artist, the comments on this post depress me. OP, as idiotic as you were to not even have checked whether your camera was working, FYL. I sympathize.
fed_up_thespian 9
Ok so I followed 95's advice, and now everything makes sense to me. More people should to the same. Yayoi Kusama, when you look her up, does a lot of things like the op's project. A very common college art assignment, at least in my area of the U.S., is to do a self portrait in the style of a certain artist that the instructor approves, usually someone whose work is not like yours, so you'll have to stretch your skills. If this is the case, this pretty much explains the odd project, the lack of commitment/equipment checking, and the fml factor. translate this into "Today I worked hours and hours on my homework, got really really cold, was minutes away from being finished and realized I would have to work longer than i thought" I mean, still not omigod my life is over, but thats gotta suck.
fed_up_thespian 9
ok i missed the editing deadline, but i can see this problem coming a mile away, "self portrait" in this case does not necessarily mean painting, i was required to do a statue and a friend had to do a mobile.