Today, during a silent breathing meditation at the Buddhist center, I accidentally let one rip which echoed through the meditation chamber. If that wasn't bad enough, the follow-up odor was enough to fell a charging rhinoceros. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as suggested by the my therapist, I tried practicing mindfulness meditation while on a break at work to reduce stress. Midway through my deep breaths, I accidentally let out a loud and unexpected snore. My coworkers now think I've taken my relaxation techniques to a whole new level. FML
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
Today, while a patient in my local psych ward, I attended a relaxation group. Apparently it was too relaxing, as I farted in the middle of it. It smelled. People noticed. FML
Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML
Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML
Today, I let out the most vile, nose-melting dairy curdling fart of my life. The sound didn’t wake me up. But the nightmare I had from how rank smelling it was sure did. My own fart ruined my sleep. FML
Today, I had to go to the dentist to have a cavity filled. Around halfway through the procedure, something broke the silence in the room. It was my dentist, who had farted. I had to smell his rancid flatulence for around the next five minutes. All the while, I had to keep my mouth wide open. FML
Today, I was nervously observing a delicate medical procedure while training at my new job. I tried to stifle a sneeze and instead (as you can probably guess) ripped the biggest, most cartoonishly loud fart of my life. My ass sounded like a tuba and I was asked to leave the room. FML
Today, while as a therapist, a client made an audible fart and pointed out that she had done so. Shortly after, she wrinkled her nose as she savored the odor. She began to discuss her significant trauma issues. Before I could respond, her fart wafted over to me, making any mature response pointless. FML
Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML
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Top comments
tannerianian 11
Being Buddhist myself a big role in it is compassion/forgiveness etc. hopefully everyone there followed that. Otherwise FYL happens to everyone at some point el though OP don't worry(:
beannlove 7
*accidentally let one rip* means OP was not expecting to fart, and it just slipper out on them by surprise..
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Comments (64)
picante72 24
Way to blow away the chi.
finnrambo 13
34 are those slendytubbies? That's a sick game! Had to mention it...
Satoaoi 13
got damn
yaoifreak 8
poop before you go to silent places!!!!!haha I would've burst out laughing
noelasis94 18
Bet that helped everyone reach a state of inner peace
wvcheesehead1 9
Your anus took no vow of silence.
wildmonkey 16
Gnarley.
xRezSynn 15
Blame it on the dog
DisCreation 14
when meditating, please don't take it literally when they say let go of everything...
fanaticdragon 10
That's weird, it's usually the super silent ones that are deadly, the loud ones aren't usually smelly.. guess you got the worst of both worlds. Sorry OP! But it's a natural process, it's okay.