Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I assisted a customer at work. She was asking me all sorts of stupid questions and acting like an entitled, spoiled brat. When she left, since I had a mask on, I meant to mouth, "Stupid bitch" but I blurted it out loud. Everyone heard. I was fired. FML
Today, I learned the hard way how easy it is to get on my boss's bad side. We were talking about reality TV shows and I'd mentioned how much I despise Snooki, and how useless to the planet she is. Now I fear for my job. FML
Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML
Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life." I'm 26 and just very short. FML
Today, while at work, a customer refused to speak louder, despite me asking her to do it several times. As a result, I took her order incorrectly. The customer then finally decided to raise her voice, but only to yell at me about my poor listening skills. FML
Today, my English teacher kicked me out of class for being "rude and disruptive." In actuality, I had called her out for having blatantly used Google Translate for several example sentences, all of which sounded as if a semi-literate foreigner had constructed them. FML
Today, I was met with a flurry of complaints after my “disgusting” speech during my child’s career day at school. I’m a labor and delivery nurse, and my use of words like “fetus, breast, cesarean, etc.” was too much for the kids. I never even mentioned sex or genitals, and they’re in the 6th grade. FML
Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off." She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language." FML
Today, I was working at Old Navy. A girl came up to me and did a bizarre dance. Not knowing how to react, I imitated her to be friendly with the customer. Then she stopped cold. Her friend stormed up to me and yelled, "You jerk! Why are you making fun of her? She has Tourette's, you know!" FML
Today, my boss bitched me out on the sales floor for a good 10 minutes, because I wasn't "smiling the right way" for our customers. FML
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Top comments
Death_Hoe_Inn 10
My god, it's breeding
fylx100 19
I've lost all hope for humanity...
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Comments (376)
Ugi 27
She might, of course, have been making a joke that simply went over your head - people are often accused of being pretentious for using foreign words (see Miss Piggy's famous "Pretentious? Moi?") so she may have been accusing you of being pretentious by using the word "pretentious". The cussing perhaps indicates not, however. Shame. The response "pretentious" is from the 17th Century French "prétentieux" seems appropriate!
chandlerbelacic 17
Pull out the gun. It's time to preen the human tree of life
iateapenguin 27
Nobody should have to endure verbal abuse from anyone at work, OP. I learnt this from having to take it every day until I decided to complain, and got fired for it.
NamelessFace 22
English probably is foreign to her.
EddySaBoy 15
Idiocracy is coming true!!
Wolverine48Ga 21
I would not have been able to keep my mouth shut
Jester epic_151 11
If she's pregnant and 15, then thats illegal
Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20
If that was to happen to me, I'd only talk to her in german after that. And not german german, but lower Austrian dialect german.
Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20
You wanna know what this reminds me of? "ME WANT SNU SNU!"