Today, at work, I realized that not everyone in the office needs to hear my explosive diarrhea through the a/c vents that interconnect through the entire building. I think an email was sent around, describing people's reactions in detail. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, someone had explosive diarrhea in my bathroom at work and didn't clean it up. I'm the only woman in the office and I have only one toilet with no window or fan, so I have to leave the door open to air it out. It's right beside the canteen. Everyone will think it was me. FML
Today, I sharted in work this morning. It was rather unpleasant and everyone around me knew what had happened. The embarrassment was stifling. FML
Today, at work, our grease traps were getting cleaned out. My desk is right next to the vent for outside air, and veryone thought I crapped myself and wouldn't go near me. FML
Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML
Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML
Today, while at work, I let out a nasty wet fart, thinking no one would hear me since I work in a warehouse. My coworker did hear me, and replied, "WTF? Shots fired! Shots fired!" FML
Today, I received a "Reply All" email from a colleague, in which they vented their frustration with our boss. Unbeknownst to them, our boss was included in the distribution list. Our whole open plan office became a silent comedy of awkward glances. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard at work that I farted. In the silence in our open space office that followed, my boss looked over, smiled, and said, "Bless you?" The people in the office who weren't wearing headphones burst out laughing, then those people noticed the laughter, took their headphones off, and my boss then had to explain to them why they were laughing. FML
Today, as if having diarrhea at work wasn’t bad enough, my office’s aggressively flushing toilet sprayed me with my own liquid shit. FML
Today, at work, I had to use the bathroom to urinate. It's basically in an open plan office, so everyone can hear absolutely everything. After successfully and discreetly doing my business, I noticed a bit of dirt on the wall. I gave it a rub with my thumb on the smooth tile. It sounded exactly like a loud fart. FML
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Top comments
Luckster 0
wow.... how much of assholes can people be? It's not like you can control your own bodily functions. Maybe they should have just closed the vents.
allmidnighteyes 11
It's like... it's like your asshole is Mt. Vesuvius and the poor toilet is Pompeii and all of its unsuspecting residents.
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Comments (64)
blastvortex 4
I was about to click FYL when I realized that this actually says something rather telling about your physical state (i.e. since you're ill) and perhaps your dietary habits as well. Had you taken better care of your body, that might not have happened. =/ It sure does suck to be/get sick at work though.
Batsumoto 4
Hot chicks don't poop.
FinnGirl12 2
Hot chicks don't poop? Either you're kidding or you need to be smacked across the face.
Phil_McCracken 0
The only thing worse than having diarrhea is trying to do it discretely in a public restroom.
initiatetheplans 0
Wow. Not one person can spell 'DIARRHEA'. It's diarrhoea. See! I can be picky for no reason too.
Moonpaper 0
It can be spelled either way, dipwad.
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
I see this thread has now turned to s**t
_jdreaming 0
rflmfao! Damn! That is embarrassing
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
@ blastvortex: WTF?! Health nuts, fitness freaks, vegans, Olympiads AND fatass slobs can all get diarrhea. Way to be a judgemental prick. Illness is not always your own fault.
kukopia 0
It wouldn't be so bad if you'd went to the bathroom instead of sitting at your desk...
Jullmer 0
Sorry to hear about your explosive diarrhea, hope you can get your shit together.
klpryde 0
♪ When you're climbing up a tree and it trickles down your knee... Diarrhea! Diarrhea♪
Witchcraft_fml 5
Get them to forward you the e-mail, and promptly copy and paste here in the comments section so we can all have another laugh at your misfortunes.
perdix 31
I got it, Witchcraft! Here it is: Hey, gang, Nancy has explosive diarrhea! Pass it on (the note, not explosive diarrhea.) I thought someone was practicing the trombone - Jim. Sounded like mortar fire - Mike. I thought someone had put a dead rat in my desk drawer. . . again - Mary Now, I know why Nancy was talking loudly about Karen's explosive diarrhea, even though she is on vacation. - Kimberly I wonder if Nancy likes it up there, Bow-chicka-wow-wow! - (name withheld by request)