Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my friend, who is gay, announced that he's getting married. I implored him to not invite my parents and (especially) my grandma, for reasons that I'm sure you can figure out, but he did anyway. Long story short, he's inconsolable. What excellent parents I have. FML
Today, hoping to seal the deal on a promotion, I had my boss over for dinner. My dad, who lives with me, started ranting about homosexuals burning in hell. My boss’s daughter is a lesbian. Now my dad’s nose is broken and I fear for my job. FML
Today, my father lectured me on the “sanctity of marriage” while his third wife bawled in the corner. I'm just gay, not a raging cunt. FML
Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to see the photos of my wedding, which he didn't bother to come to. Reply: "What the fuck, are you gay or something? Keep that homo stuff to yourself." My wife started laughing so hard she was crying. FML
Today, I found out that the guy I've been dating for a year is and always has been gay. I was apparently "an amazingly convenient beard" for his ultra-religious family. FML
Today, I came out to my parents as lesbian. Surprisingly, they were OK with it… just as long as I still marry a dude, give them grandbabies, and keep the whole lesbian thing a deep, dark, shameful secret that we never talk about again. FML
Today, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and my parents suddenly ask if I'm gay. I reply that no, I'm bisexual. My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes. She turns to my dad and says 'I told you so. You owe me $20'. My parents bet on my sexuality. FML
Today, I finally came out to my dad, who is a priest, as gay. He responded by splashing me with holy water to "banish the demon within" me. FML
Today, my dad got married to a woman who's an atheist and makes fun of me for being a devout Christian. FML
Today, while I was out with my wife and kids, I saw a happy gay couple and it reminded me of the life I could've had if I wasn't raised by such strict religious homophobic grandparents. FML
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Top comments
Ruthie86 3
I made an account just for this. That was, literally, the funniest thing i have read on this site.
smalltownman 15
That sounds like a guy I'd like to be friends with. lol
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Comments (148)
Dave_Davington 34
I want to buy your dad a drink.
enzozo101 8
im an altar boy. crying cuz im always called gay at school
abNormal62 23
Better an altar boy Than an altered boy
hailzz_96 18
This is a family feud I'd watch
shiffizzle 13
This played out like a comedy movie in my mind while reading this
zombiekiller52 24
This is the best thing I have reason here today!!!
damndre 14
Alcohol and religion don't mix.
smokecloud_ 37
I dunno, much of my family is Catholic and their mostly a bunch of drunks.
abNormal62 23
The priests may argue that with you. It's an ice breaker with the altar boys
Frammy007 7
Religion and anything doesn't mix... especially other religions.
RMP15 8
What? Lol
enzo875 4
Hmm ya i guess thats why the totally dont drink wine o wait thats right they do
teevthoj 9
Did ur dad have cameras set up too? I would very like to see it. It so funny
Miscellanonymous 8
he does have a valid point! Us women are hard please! But in it all he should be able to speak his opinion, though the usage of words could have been better in that area for the sake that of a family dispute!
dylanger16 19
Commenting for the insomniac badge
thejonac 21
i think it would be for the best to warn your dad not to talk about religious issues in front of your in laws next time :x and if i'm being honest, what your dad said was meant as a joke, but it wasn't really kind.