Today, at 4:00 a.m., I woke up and realized that I had thrown an expensive gift certificate for a friend in the garbage. Since it was garbage day, I ran out in the rain in my pajamas and rifled through all three bags of garbage. Twice. I found the gift certificate. It was in my pocket. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, on my lunch break, I ran to the gas station, and threw some trash away on my way in. On my way out, I realized my keys were missing. Thinking I threw them away, and fearing that I'd be late returning to work, I tore through the disgusting trash only to find my keys on the seat of my car. FML
Today, I had my new Blackberry Curve sitting on my lunch tray. Unthinkingly, i tossed it into the garbage can. 10 minutes later i realized I had thrown it away and spent the next hour searching through six garbage cans of half-eaten food. FML
Today, I finally finished my Christmas shopping and felt like an absolute champion. That was until I got home and realized I'd left one of the shopping bags in the parking lot. The bag contained the most expensive gift I'd bought. FML
Today, I found a gift card under my bed that I lost a few months ago for $400 to a store that went out of business last week. FML
Today, I went to drop the garbage in the compactor as I left to do some shopping. I quickly put my handbag down on the side, threw the 'garbage' in the machine, watched it do its thing, and then turned round to find... the bag of garbage on the side. FML
Today, it's garbage day. My mom accidentally threw away a receipt she needed to return something and told me to go get it. While I was looking for it, a cop gave me hell for "stealing recyclables on private property." This all happened in my front lawn. FML
Today, I couldn't find my phone. Worried that I'd accidentally thrown it in the trash, I emptied out all the bins and searched the garbage. An hour later, my daughter said she'd found it by the bathroom sink. FML
Today, I gave my friend a $5 VR set that I purchased from the dollar store for Christmas. I received a $60 gift card. Later, I realized I left the receipt in the package. FML
Today, after putting a bag of dirty laundry in the laundry room to wait for an open washer, I came back to find a "free stuff" sign on all of my expensive jeans, new towels, and favorite sweatshirts. The bag was over half empty. FML
Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML
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Top comments
lollipopz8988 0
left it in the garbage? why would it have been in the garbage in the first place if you intended on giving it to a friend?
Ender_ 0
#1 - maybe they just figured it was a good hiding spot so their friend wouldn't find it. Or maybe they're just stupid.
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Comments (76)
TheNameless_fml 0
Hahaha, that's kind of funny. I've had similar experiences.
brunions 0
Your pajamas have pockets?
TokyoSquid 0
wow, the quality of FMLs has really gone downhill recently.
nobody_special 0
Hey, at least you didn't throw them away. The worse part is you have to shower and wash your clothes, so it's not all that bad :)
Americo_fml 0
#4, you are a winner!
Vehicle 1
Oh dear, I could see myself doing that! ...I always forget where I placed ANYTHING- cell phone, keys, glasses, you name it!
ktlynn 0
Totally sounds like something I would do!
louisianagrrrrl 0
don't worry, something like that happened to me before. I realized a pair of concert tickets wasnt on my bookshelf anymore and I freaked out because I had cleaned my room & taken out the trash that day. I went outside and looked through all the trash and didn't find them. They were right there in a bag on the floor in my room in plain sight.
CaptainDude86 0
This makes no sense. According to your story, you put the gift certificate in the garbage, then forgot about it until 4 AM, then ran out and looked through the garbage, then realized that you put the certificate in the pocket of your pajamas. You are either moronic or lying.
Boweezee 0
Why exactly did you leave it in the garbage, then?