Today, as I sat down in the plane, I realized that for the next seven hours I would be sitting next to a priest who refused to stop praying aloud, and an old man who wanted to tell me the story of how the toothpick came to be. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML
Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML
Today, I was at the airport walking around, killing time. There was a man about twenty years older than me who kept on eyeballing me, and it really wasn't flattering. I get on the plane and guess who I get to sit next to. FML
Today, as I sat down for my flight, I realised that the passenger I had to sit next to for the next seven hours was wearing a necklace made from tampon packaging. FML
Today, while using the bathroom on an airplane, someone walked in on me wiping my butt. That person just so happened to be the stranger I was sitting next to. It was an 8 hour flight. FML
Today, I boarded a trans-Atlantic flight by myself, and struck up a nice conversation with the passenger across the aisle. Before we even took off, the man in front of me unbuckled, stood to face me, and asked me to please shut the hell up. "It's a 9 hour flight, and you're VERY loud!" FML
Today, I was sitting on a plane waiting for everyone to get on. A cute guy around my age had the option of sitting next to me or an old guy. He gave me a horrified look and immediately sat next to the old man. I got to sit next to his mother. She evil eyed me the whole time. FML
Today, I'm on a 14-hour flight, stuck next to a large man whose rancid body odor is eclipsed only by his constant flatulence, which he loudly blames on me every time. On my other side is his friend who laughs like a moose at everything. There are no empty seats and no-one will trade with me. FML
Today, as a flight attendant, I had to deal with a passenger staring at a stewardess constantly and masturbating. His wife was sitting next to him and didn't mind. FML
Today, I had a several-hour-long flight. I was put in a seat at the very back of the plane. Before the plane even lifted off, a woman took a dump in the bathroom that I stank for the rest of the flight. Whenever I tried to get some sleep, the flight attendant walked past, savagely jostling me. FML
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Top comments
Bonzer 2
Maybe you'll learn something new about toothpicks. I have no idea about their story and I would like to know.
LappDance 16
I hope you brought headphones!
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Comments (142)
PaulB123 11
You still don't have it as bad as the guy in planes, trains, and automobiles.
brandon3747 16
Well it never hurts to learn :) but the priest thing would be very annoying :(
xXHollowIchigoXx 17
Complain to the flight attendant? I know I'd really hate to listen to that on an airplane flight.
gracehi 33
"Excuse me, miss, but I have some very obnoxious neighbors. Could you please intervene for me? I just can't take it anymore!" "What are they doing to be obnoxious, sir?" "Well, the old man to my right is telling me about tooth picks, and to my left is a priest who is praying!"
xXHollowIchigoXx 17
You can ask the attendant to tell them to Stfu or to change your seat. :)
sexaaydino 14
This is why they created iPods
unknown_user5566 27
I'm guessing you are in the middle seat? Middle seats are bad enough without have to endure your "quirky" neighbors. Plug in your headphones and/or watch the in-flight entertainment and do your best to ignore them. Alternatively, you can listen to each of them, and leave with an interesting story to tell!
unknown_user5566 27
Apparently this is another one of my days where I cannot type correctly. Without having to endure*
ya_momma 4
You should have plugged in your headphones to tune them out.
MisterFML123 1
I don't know what your problem is... That sounds great!!
verkaderk 9
Well ya learn something new everyday... Today happened to be toothpicks
tmaq973 7
Well why don't you pull out some headphones and blast some of the music that was created by the guy who blew you? Nothing like dub step to tune out bothersome people.
tennisrapper1 14
Actually, you might learn something new and somewhat interesting. At least with the toothpick guy...