Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I joined a gym. I’m overweight and not very athletic, so I was nervous. I looked around and tried a treadmill. I start walking at a chill pace, then got ambitious and cranked it to a "light jog." Within seconds, I tripped, fell, and sent the emergency stop button flying across the room. The gym staff ran over and I swear someone said, “Well, at least he’s trying.” FML
Today, while on the treadmill, my iPod fell and shot out underneath my feet. I got off to get it, and when I tried to get back on, I slipped and fell on my face on the moving track. The whole gym watched me get beat up by a treadmill and clapped when I finally got back on. FML
Today, I was at the gym and I tripped on the treadmill. Not only did I fall off the machine, I also managed to knock over two other people's water bottles and send them flying across the room. FML
Today, I was doing my usual routine at the gym which consists of working out on the treadmills right in front of my ex boyfriend to make him feel bad. Whilst doing this, I tried to be cool and do that thing where as the treadmill slows down you turn around and just walk off the end. I fell. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in quite a while. I was feeling pretty good about myself until I realized I'd been on the elliptical machine for twenty minutes without having actually turned it on. I was just moving the pedals and wondering why I wasn’t getting tired. FML
Today, I got on a treadmill for the first time. I was running at a very high speed. I needed a break but didn't know how to get off. I decided to just let the machine take me to the edge so I could get off. I was thrown off the treadmill and landed with my happy sacks crashing into a dumbbell. FML
Today, I was feeling really good about going to the gym for the first time. That was until I got so worn out from my “warm up” on the treadmill that I had to go home and spew. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. As I was on the treadmill, I accidentally hit the emergency stop button. In my attempt to play it cool, I tried to pretend it was intentional and yelled, "I've reached my fitness goal for the day!" FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. I was so out of shape that I couldn't even finish my warm-up. FML
Today, I had a weird dream I woke up on the bathroom floor at my local gym. Turns out it wasn't a dream, and I passed out from "overworking myself". I was on the treadmill for under 5 minutes, walking. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Soon those two minutes will turn into twenty. You are putting the effort in, which is more than a lot of people can say for themselves.
hotheadslav 17
Don't worry about being overweight and going to the gym. At least people can see you are actively trying to pursue a goal. Keep your head up OP! :)
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Comments (173)
Mauskau 36
Build it up. I prefer to walk 4.5mph on the highest incline, you don't get as tired, you can go for longer and according to the machine you actually burn more calories than running for the same time. I've compared mine with when my brother runs. :)
IWishIWasObama 12
never trust calorie counts on the machine.
Croooow 11
Hey, at least you're trying. You should be super-proud of yourself. :D
lvg_fml 10
First of all... Don't start off running. And don't give up. If you can afford to do a few sessions with a personal trainer. Strength training and core will help a lot
thatcoolguy123 14
well it's good you care about your weight... unlike some of the arrogant, rude fatasses here in America... anyway just don't push yourself in the beginning... take small steps, or whatever you can handle
RebeccaRFT 18
Maybe spend less time insulting yourself and spending more time on focusing on working out and you'll lose weight
QueenOfSuppness 25
The fact that you wanted to get fit is the first step You don't anything done by just sitting there, just keep trying!
Shrekie_fml 23
Hey, don't worry about it man just keep working hard, work at your own pace and encourage yourself to do better you can do it! 2 minutes after no running is still quite good to begin with.
Scotty1973 10
O my
kellyem2 20
Ok, tripping is not the same as getting worn out after only two minutes. Don't be so hard on yourself!
JIMMY_THE_JEW_II 17
you really need to get out. I had to run 2 miles every week for 12 weeks, 2 minutes is nothing