Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I joined a gym. I’m overweight and not very athletic, so I was nervous. I looked around and tried a treadmill. I start walking at a chill pace, then got ambitious and cranked it to a "light jog." Within seconds, I tripped, fell, and sent the emergency stop button flying across the room. The gym staff ran over and I swear someone said, “Well, at least he’s trying.” FML
Today, while on the treadmill, my iPod fell and shot out underneath my feet. I got off to get it, and when I tried to get back on, I slipped and fell on my face on the moving track. The whole gym watched me get beat up by a treadmill and clapped when I finally got back on. FML
Today, I was at the gym and I tripped on the treadmill. Not only did I fall off the machine, I also managed to knock over two other people's water bottles and send them flying across the room. FML
Today, I was doing my usual routine at the gym which consists of working out on the treadmills right in front of my ex boyfriend to make him feel bad. Whilst doing this, I tried to be cool and do that thing where as the treadmill slows down you turn around and just walk off the end. I fell. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in quite a while. I was feeling pretty good about myself until I realized I'd been on the elliptical machine for twenty minutes without having actually turned it on. I was just moving the pedals and wondering why I wasn’t getting tired. FML
Today, I got on a treadmill for the first time. I was running at a very high speed. I needed a break but didn't know how to get off. I decided to just let the machine take me to the edge so I could get off. I was thrown off the treadmill and landed with my happy sacks crashing into a dumbbell. FML
Today, I was feeling really good about going to the gym for the first time. That was until I got so worn out from my “warm up” on the treadmill that I had to go home and spew. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. As I was on the treadmill, I accidentally hit the emergency stop button. In my attempt to play it cool, I tried to pretend it was intentional and yelled, "I've reached my fitness goal for the day!" FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. I was so out of shape that I couldn't even finish my warm-up. FML
Today, I had a weird dream I woke up on the bathroom floor at my local gym. Turns out it wasn't a dream, and I passed out from "overworking myself". I was on the treadmill for under 5 minutes, walking. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Soon those two minutes will turn into twenty. You are putting the effort in, which is more than a lot of people can say for themselves.
hotheadslav 17
Don't worry about being overweight and going to the gym. At least people can see you are actively trying to pursue a goal. Keep your head up OP! :)
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Comments (173)
ajs1987 15
Don't get discouraged OP, that's two minutes more than everyone who's sitting on the couch.
TheBookWyrm 18
Sorry to burst you guys' bubble, but running is one of the most inefficient ways to burn calories. I have a book by an ex-military trainer that suggests a 7.5-minute same-exercise workout, then a break, then repeat four times with a different workout. It works especially well if you workout like, 1, 2, 3, 4, 3, 2, 1, so 1 push up, 5 sec rest, 2 push ups and a 7 sec rest, etc. Alternate arms and legs each workout session, and try to find new exercises and new muscle groups to work out. You want to burn calories not only while exercising, but while sitting and fidgeting as well. Big muscles are the key to that. Look up Mark Lauren and buy his book (iPad app too if you have one) if you're really serious. I did this and got results after just a few workouts - actual improvements.
NamelessFace 22
I think you're confused... OP isn't trying to build muscles mass, she's trying to lose weight... Which running is a very efficient way to go about doing so. I mean, she clearly doesn't HAVE big muscles, so how can she use them? Great advice, bad placement.
Taylor22294 24
It's about commitment and dedication O.P. Everyone starts out somewhere, it's a stepping stone to becoming healthier and most likely starting a new hobby.
candicorn 23
There are a lot of comments saying start slowly, and I 100% agree. Starting out using a stationary bike or elliptical machine might be easier on your joints and easier to balance on if you are worried about falling again. Also, I noticed in your post you say you were "beating [yourself] up for getting so overweight." Don't beat yourself up OP, and don't treat exercise like your punishment for gaining weight! You are much more likely to stick with it if you view exercise in a positive way, as a way to take care of your body and your health. Learning to love yourself unconditionally will help you want to take care of yourself. And I can say from experience that if you don't love yourself the way you are, you probably won't magically start to once you lose the weight. Don't get me wrong, starting an exercise routine is a fantastic thing to do for yourself, but you are a beautiful individual and worth so much more than just your appearance!
at0micmin3r 23
Weight loss takes a lot of hard work. You have to understand that it will take a long time, you won't see results quickly, and it's not JUST exercise. Eat whole foods; foods that keep you more satisfied longer. Join your local weight watchers if they have that there.
limabeans101029 21
I'm sure different people have different experiences, but from my own experience I can say that I progressed very quickly with running. The first time I went I could barely make it to the end of my street (which is about a two minute run) without wanting to collapse, but by the third time I could run for about 15 minutes without stopping. That doesn't seem like much, but it felt like a major improvement to me and it gave me the motivation to keep trying. Also I don't think that beating yourself up for being overweight is going to help you very much- try instead to think positively and be proud of yourself for working to change yourself for the better. Keep at it OP, it'll get easier!
concend_blk_guy 8
I understand op, I've also gained a ridiculous amount of weight, just remember u didn't get fat overnight, it took months and years, and just take it a step at a time, doing to much to soon is dangerous. just keep working on it
melooters 11
Try exercising outdoors :) the time will fly by and you'll feel great in the fresh air :)
PounamuKutahi 3
Take it easy, OP. You'll burn yourself out with running as fast as you can, just try start it slow for the first bit and slowly build up. You could also run outside too, as it's nice to run early in the mornings if work or school doesn't interfere.
Daevas 18
Looks like you weren't the only thing beating yourself up...