Today, after a few weeks of smuggling a baby caterpillar into work every day just to make sure it ate and stayed alive long enough to turn into a butterfly, it finally did. Before it could fly free, a bird turned it into a snack. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my first graders released the butterflies we've been raising. The kids were sad that one had died in his cocoon and wouldn't be set free. Turns out that butterfly may have had a better fate: a flock of birds ate half of the others. Immediately after releasing them. In front of the kids. FML
Today, my brother and I found a little bird that couldn't fly. While trying to convince my mom that it couldn't fly so we could keep it, I lightly tossed it in the air and it landed a few feet in front of me. Then my cat grabbed it and ate it. FML
Today, I saved a baby bird from the site I work on. It was the runt and did not have any feathers and was neglected by the mother. I took care of it all day at work and planned on taking it to a wildlife reserve after work. Two minutes away from the reserve, we hit a pothole and I dropped it. It died. FML
Today, I got up and started getting ready for work. As I entered the bathroom, I noticed a moth in the shower. Feeling generous, I caught the moth in a cup and took it to the front porch. I released the moth and watched it fly away… into a giant spider and its web. FML
Today, after we finished making my 6 year-old daughter a net to catch an injured baby bird, when she went out to catch it she witnessed a stray cat catch and eat it. FML
Today, I witnessed the beautiful sight of a tiny baby bird struggling to take flight from its nest. "You can do it," I muttered, which I guess my asswipe of a cat heard as "Quick, go kill that bird and scar me for life, please." FML
Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML
Today, I found a tiny, featherless baby bird. I knew it was impossible, but I tried to keep it alive through the day. Before I could get it to the wildlife center, it died, and when I got all choked up over it, my mom started laughing at me and saying how "weak" I was. FML
Today, a bird flew into the workshop where I work, gave itself a tour of the place, then promptly pooped on my lunch and left. FML
Today, I spent hours making an elaborate bird feeder for my backyard. It was finally ready, and I proudly hung it up, imagining the birds chirping happily. Instead, a squirrel discovered it within minutes, devoured all the birdseed, and then gave me a smug look before knocking the feeder to the ground. FML
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Top comments
theslimshadylp 6
The circle of life.
asoptavlo14 6
Shit happens, and technically the butterfly will "fly away, " just in the bird's stomach.
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Comments (175)
Imabau5lol 7
Bitch duck
MistySky 17
It would've died eventually.
dunker_fml 4
Butterflies emerge from a chrysalis, moths come from cocoons.
alphabetsoup25 4
Who does that? That's a little creepy dude....
drunkonduty247 1
Start drinking, you will make more friends.
perdix 31
Catch the bird and feed it to a cat. Catch the cat and feed it to a dog. Catch the dog and feed it to one of those people that eats dogs. Catch the dog-eater and feed him to a zombie. The entertainment will last for days!
itsme1321 3
It's like a ****** up version of "I know an old lady" :O
perdix 31
Yeah, but I kicked it up a notch of ******-uppedness with the zombie shit.
Welshite 40
What eats the zombie?
itsme1321 3
Zombie crows, of course...or zombie bears...yea...zombie bears
perdix 31
#79, I don't know, that's why I need help from The Swarm. I didn't see "Zombieland," otherwise I might guess Woody Harrelson.
DracoSpirita 21
Don't forget that double tap!
Psych101 9
69- Instead of feeding the cat to a dog, you should feed it to ALF.
perdix 31
#101, and then Alan Alda's ass-nose eats ALF!
lyskiss 10
******' hate butterflies. Ever since I saw that one Spongebob episode...*shudders.*
ohSNAPyall 27
Hey My Little Pony, no one is expecting you to not be a cartoon viewer.
lyskiss 10
That episode has scarred me for life. I've officially been afraid of butterflies ever since I saw that episode.
tehdarkness 21
What a weird thing to do... Couldn't you just have left it in nature?