Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
United States
'Tis the season to be jolly, falalala lala la la
Today, my mom hung her new "Christmas Clock" on the wall. It plays a different Christmas carol every hour, on the hour. It's only December 2nd and I'm already starting to understand why suicide rates sky rocket this time of year. FML
Top comments
orebes 3
My work plays Miley Cyrus Christmas songs. I work 8 hour shifts...
BountyBass 13
Tis the season
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Comments (65)
WillFerrel_fml 3
Put some water on it:) the speaker will stop working and NO ONE will know why... :D
Kallian_fml 21
Sorry to hear that. We'll miss you OP.
LaLince 40
lol
peacefully84 19
Try working retail. My work has a CD that's 45 minutes long and plays on loop. I work 40 hours a week, and stay there on my lunch breaks, that means I'm subjected to it 45 hours a week, essentially listening to the CD 100 times. If I hear Baby It's Cold Outside one more time I might snap.
mystashisgone 6
Reminds me of 40 year old virgin..."[the same Michael McDonald sampler DVD has been playing on all of the television screens for the last two years] If I have to hear "Yamo Be There" one more time, I'm going to "Yamo" burn this place to the ground."
buckdharma 38
I can,t work today-But baby it's cold outside...I don,t need my pay- but baby it's cold outside...I'll punch out and leave-but baby you'll freeze out there... i'll shop lift a coat-It's up to your knees out there...i'll pinch me a grand- And they'll lock you in a van...spend the night in the can-they'll fingerprint both your hands... somehow i'll be ok.-they'll put your ass away... At least i'll be alive-you could get 1 to 5...
Epikouros 32
I'm sorry to hear your bosses are so poor they can only afford one CD. But aren't there laws against torture? It must be bad for business, because it already started affecting your math skills: 45 work hours divided by .75 CD hours = 60 times a week, not 100.
Metallica36176 16
24 - I know how you feel. I work in retail as well. Not only do I hate the music and if I hear "Santa Baby" or someone trying to rap to "Santa Claus is coming to Town" but I hate the holiday because of the selfish, horribly mean people that has forgotteb
Metallica36176 16
forgotten* the true meaning of Christmas. (Sorry new phone and I can't stop accidentally hitting the "hide keyboard" icon and then "send".)
marcranger 29
Time to claim that the music creates a hostile work environment for the store's Jewish employees. After all, Jesus' birth wasn't a good thing for them.
cmtxbe 6
Come on, enjoy Christmas while its hear. It only happens once a year!
skullofdarkness 18
Bah humbug! It's just another excuse to get off work, get out of school, or get holiday pay…
UsernameHere234 13
Fun fact: a major portion of those suicides are from university students... Like me... Ok not so fun of a fact.
rinzy 3
Lol. I know the feeling. My mom has one of those and I HATE it.
ICastillo 25
Don't be such a Scrooge Op enjoy that clock, it's Only around for the Christmas Season. You could be a Grinch and steal that clock and throw it away or take it and give it away.
deathtothepix 26
Play some straight up gangster rap louder than the carols every 30 minutes past. If she complains just say, well I have to put up with your (shit) music so you can put up with mine. Heh Heh.
perdix 31
Suicide is the cowardly way to solve this problem. You neglect to mention that "novelty clock sabotage rates" also spike during the holiday season. Novelty lamps also see a high rate of unexplained breakage at this time of year as evidenced in "A Christmas Story."
pdp_fml 21
Is there a volume control dial or an off switch to control the music?