Today, my girlfriend told me she won't have sex with me anymore. When I asked her why, she said I've lost too much weight and I now look like her son. Her son is 4 feet tall and 9 years-old. I'm 6 feet tall and 30 years old. She said that having sex with me feels like having sex with her son. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I've recently become serious about getting fit, and have lost nearly 84 pounds. Apparently, when I was fat, I made her look smaller in comparison. When I got slimmer, she insisted I either gain the weight back or she'd leave. So she did. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 5 years dumped me because she got tired of me being thinner than her and, in her own words, making her look bad. FML
Today, after many comments over years about her needing to lose weight, I had to tell the woman I love, the woman I married, that she had gotten so overweight that the sight of her naked made me want to puke. Apparently her goal was to get so fat I'd stop asking for sex. I'm her third divorce. FML
Today, my girlfriend had a huge fight with me because while I'm trying to gain weight and she’s trying to lose some, I’ve still lost more weight than her. Not my fault my body’s natural preference is to drop pounds like they’re hot. FML
Today, my girlfriend made me shave my chest. Afterwards, she said I looked like I was 12. She won't have sex with me until it grows back. FML
Today, my wife informed me that she hates having sex with me, and only married me because I was dark, trim, and handsome, but now I'm just gray, fat, and soon to be single. FML
Today, I find out why my long term boyfriend hasn't been interested in sex for the last three months. It’s because I’m "fat." While I could probably lose a few, I'm not obese and I'm the one who's encouraging healthy eating and exercise in our house. FML
Today, after 3 months of my boyfriend complaining his weight is making him not want sex, I suggested we go for a walk to help us both start to lose weight. He looked at me and said, "You're too fat to go walking." I'm beginning to think my weight is the problem here, not his. FML
Today, my boyfriend of four years told me that I appeared to have gained some weight. After realizing that it made me feel depressed, he tried to make me feel better by making love to me. I decided to go with it. While doing so, he paused and said, "I'm sorry baby, but your weight is too much pressure for my back." FML
Today, my girlfriend wanted to try having sex despite her serious body image issues. Unfortunately, I couldn't get it up due to how utterly terrified she looked. Now no matter what I say, she thinks it's all because her body is hideous. FML
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Top comments
Lobby_Bee 18
Whenever you hear these stupid excuses to not have sex with you, be cautious. A third person might be involved.
gobiteme2 34
Add spice to love life and use a blindfold for her.
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Comments (23)
Sceptic59 3
Very odd. When one of my ex girlfriends stopped having sex with me, (as is anyone's right), i found out that she was cheating on me. I think she's keeping something secret here and she's not being honest.
bbychii 20
or she's thinking you weigh less than her now and didn't want to feel self conscious. I know when I weighed more than who I was seeing, made me feel like total shit
Lucas Nielsen 8
How would she even know what having sex with her son feels like?
zoelog 10
I think she's giving you a bullshit reason. obviously she's just not that into you.