Today, I came home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on my desk with a note from my roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact that both of my roommates are aware of. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my roommate left a bomb looking package of cookies on the kitchen counter. My sweet tooth got the best of me and I made that split second decision of, "Oh, I'll just have one." Halfway through it, I noticed the fine print, "For dogs" on the package. FML
Today, there was a big cake at the office. I thought it was funny to pretend to push the cute girl in the office into it. She laughed, but then lost her balance and fell forward. Everyone saw. Turns out she’s allergic to coconut, even just the shavings on a cake, and had to go to the hospital. FML
Today, I found some cookies on my bed and got so excited that I kneed myself in my face. FML
Today, I had to go to the ER because of a terrible allergic reaction I had to the cookies my "friend" made for me. She assured me several times that there were no nuts in them. Turns out, she put nuts in them on purpose, to see whether or not I was really allergic. FML
Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML
Today, I went to interview with potential new roommates at a cooperative living house. I decided to bake cookies for everyone, and while touring the house, I forgot about the cookies and set off a small oven fire. All this after professing how responsible I am. FML
Today, I discovered a drawer full of chocolates, cookies and baked goods in my house. When I asked my sister what the drawer was, she told me that my mom thought it would be a good idea to hide the fattening foods from me. My entire family had known about the food drawer, except me. FML
Today, I made my mom cookies for Mother's Day. My brother took all the cookies to work as a snack, because I didn't specifically tell him that the homemade "MOM" hearts weren't meant for him. FML
Today, I made a small batch of cookies and took them to work. Mostly everyone took one, but nobody said anything until I asked how they were. Someone asked what my recipe was, because it tasted like I'd forgot to add sugar. I bit into one. I had. The cookies tasted like muddy mush. FML
Today, I got a package containing a present from my grandma. It was a pack of cookies someone gave her for her birthday, and which no one in the family wanted to take home when she offered, because we all found the cookies disgusting. FML
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Top comments
acrylicParadox 7
There's still a small chance they forgot...but if they didn't, that's just sad.
sweettart83 27
At least you realized it had coconut in it before you ate it.
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Comments (123)
liv_graham 7
make them bleach soup
Ameel_fml 19
Ugh. It's disgusting how some people think food allergies are something funny or worth pranking people about. Don't they understand that a person can DIE from it?!
s15c 9
It really depends on how bad the allergies are. I'm allergic to coconut but will at worst vomit it back up, and a lot of my friends know that. If it's a similar case, it's really not that big of a deal.
Ameel_fml 19
But even if the coconut only causes the OP to vomit, that's still a dick thing to do. Who the hell thinks it's funny to mess with a person's allergy like that?
Kalipczo 21
What **** weasels. I hope you confronted them about it.
oj101 33
Your profile picture is both very suggestive and disappointing at the same time when I open it.
DocBastard 40
When your roommates get home, run out of your room clutching your throat and yell "OH MY GOD, I CAN'T BREATH! What did those cookies have in them!?" Then fall down to the floor and gasp desperately. Then watch as they eventually get the message that they are complete assholes.
AquanTheDragon 5
Be warned, the Grammar Nazis might see your typo. Otherwise, you're being awesome as usual.
oj101 33
Always be suspicious of unattended cookies. No one will ever readily give them up.... they're too damn delicious.
lexi365 20
Brownies are worse. No one can hate them.
Snoopy0718 14
Good think you broke the cookie in half, and noticed that it contained coconuts OP. out of all the flavors the kind of cookies they decided to make. What horrible roommates.
ChristinaAAR 14
Well apparently you did something to piss them off.
ChristinaAAR 14
Yeah, for sure. I never said what they did was okay. It wasn't at all.
Pretty_reckless_fml 18
Did you know that coconut is the only food stuff that a human could survive on by just eating that :)? It contains enough fibre, dairy (from the milk) and vitamins etc to live...unless your OP of course, then you'd be kinda ****** :L
Pleonasm 36
I heard breastmilk works too.
lambda_fml 40
@23 that was a Pretty Reckless thing to say (;
JustASmallTownBo_fml 7
My bad, hit the wrong thing
Pretty_reckless_fml 18
Yeah thats true :) but i mean the natural liquid inside the coconut :D and pleo what if you're trapped on a desert island with only guys :P? Then instead of trying to milk eachothers nips, you'd probably wanna stick with the coconuts aha ;D
Pleonasm 36
One of them would get the nickname "Big Momma", and would undergo a genetical modification allowing for him to lactate for the rest of the group, providing sustenance!
DelphiCat 17
You know that coconut milk is NOT a form of 'dairy' right? I'm not disputing it's nutritional value, just that to be dairy it has to have been expressed by a female mammal. Also, the stuff inside the coconut is NOT coconut milk, it's coconut water. Coconut cream is what you get when you pulp the 'meat' and then squeeze out the juice, and you mix that with coconut water to make coconut milk. COCONUT FACTS.
Pretty_reckless_fml 18
Well maybe i meant legen-dairy :P! haha nah I get what you mean :) but to be fair I did say the natural liquids found in coconut after, someone already corrected me
misslifeguard 7
Its the thought that count
hannaaaahr 33
'I tried to kill you, but I did it with cookies so it was actually a nice gesture!'
tdudey123 14
Set them both aflame in their sleep. That'll be "funny".