Today, I learned just how “old fashioned” my girlfriend is when we talked about marriage. She said it should be approached as a logically as possible and that I make an ideal partner, based on my ability to provide. And while she sees sex as uninteresting, it is a wifely duty she’s willing to do. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend but she refused. Why? Because instead of asking her, “Will you marry me?” I asked her to “be my wife.” She flew off the handle because “my wife” suggests she would be mine, like ownership, like domestic slavery. I don’t want to marry her anymore; she’s nuts. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked why we weren't married yet. I guess I don't find her alcoholism, lack of income, constant insults, references to cheating, and general entitlement behaviour very wifey material. FML
Today, I overheard my wife telling our daughter that getting married young is like a “long, slow, painful dream-killing death, played out over decades.” We got married when I was 18 and she was 17. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend's dad for permission to take her hand in marriage. He said no, because he doesn't want her marrying a "sexist idiot who treats her like property", which he thinks asking permission amounts to, then told me to grow up. FML
Today, my wife admitted that she settled for me because I had a good job and made enough for her to live comfortably. I shouldn't worry though, because now she's old enough that she won't be able to pull anyone more exciting or attractive. FML
Today, my wife has been trying to talk our daughter out of getting married, because it would be throwing her life away when she’s so young, and it would make her miserable in the long run. It’s getting a little hard not to take it personally since we’ve been married for over 30 years. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of six years. She got mad at me, saying she is too young to get married and that I was trying to ruin her career. She is 32 and works part-time at a grocery store. FML
Today, I went out to dinner with the girl of my dreams. Wanting to get to know her, I asked her what she’s looking for in a relationship. She scoffed and said how relationships are for the weak and that it’s better to not catch feelings to avoid being hurt. I guess I don’t have a chance. FML
Today, after getting married recently and my wife making a ton of promises about "things" we'd do, she admitted she won't do any of them and said I should just accept that she lied. FML
Today, my partner and I were spending quality time with a newly single friend. She quoted some song lyrics, saying, "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, make an ugly woman your wife…" We all laughed, and then my partner said, "Boy, you got THAT right." FML
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Top comments
alex_jaguara 33
Run, you fool!
Roxy Rousseau 11
She literally told you you’re main appeal was your a bank account, and she doesn’t even enjoy having sex with you. Now is the time to make wise decisions.
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Comments (20)
Rosemarie Townsend 13
Sounds about right 😂😂
Mathalamus 25
Her method isn’t wrong. Some people go by feelings, some goes by logic, and some just go with what’s best. Frankly, I would have taken her.
Clinton Bruneau 6
lol there's nothing logical herw
faifai_fml 21
It sounds like she's asexual. Ace people are still able to provide emotional love and attachments. You need to have an open discussion with your wife about both of your sexual needs.
millsjoshua949 12
She's not old fashioned she just doesn't find sex with you as something to look forward to. I have no idea why she's still your girlfriend. ydi
neonpachyderm 13
"Willing to do" is definitely a red flag. Because I can guarantee that, especially if you're in a culture where both divorce and adultery are frowned upon...once you're locked in, there's no reason (in her mind) for her to continue to fulfill her "wifely duties".
randybryant799 21
Surely you've noticed she found sex uninteresting. Why would you want to marry her?