Today, my family is too damn close. My uncle on my dad's side just got my aunt on my mum's side pregnant, three cousins from dad's side are dating three cousins from mum's side, and a half brother from my dad is marrying my half sister from my mum. We are the inbred rednecks of this town. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while at my family reunion, I learned my grandparents were first cousins. No wonder we're all crazy hillbillies. FML
Today, my dad admitted to dating and getting my stepdaughter pregnant, and they’re very happy. My wife is furious. Meanwhile, my brother pointed out it’s a real life version of the Willie Nelson song. Once the baby is born, our inbred family tree will result in me technically being my own grandad. FML
Today, I’ve suffered my whole life with a bunch of genetic conditions and I found out why at my dad's funeral. A bunch of relatives from America attended and one of them secretly told me my parents emigrated to England under a cloud of shame because they were brother and sister. I’m inbred. FML
Today, we got the results of our family's ancestry DNA tests. My father isn't related to me, but my grandfather is still my grandfather. Apparently grandma cheated on grandpa to get 'dad', and my mother cheated on 'dad' with my 'uncle' to get me. FML
Today, after there was only one family that hated me enough to beat me up when we were kids, and we still don't get along as adults, my youngest brother is now dating into that family, and one of my older brothers is dating into that family too. It's like some kinda sick curse, or karma. FML
Today, I found out my wife of 5 years, with whom we have three kids, is actually my cousin. At a family dinner someone had pointed out how much she looks like my uncle. We laughed until she mentioned that she was adopted from the same town my uncle's ex-wife had a baby. A few questions and a blood test later, we all learned the sick truth. FML
Today, talking to my boyfriend about each others families, we noticed we both had an aunt with the same name. After a while of trying to figure things out, we decide to call her. Turns out that we are long distance cousins. FML
Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins. FML
Today, I found out that my half-brother from my mom’s side is dating my half-sister from my dad’s side when I caught them hooking up at our last family event. Even though they aren’t blood related, it’s still super creepy for some reason. FML
Today, I found out I'm going to have a sister. Who’s the mom gonna be? It’s my cousin from my mom’s side. My dad’s excuse? "Well, she ain’t blood related." FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
All of those people are only related by your parents' marriage, so it's technically legal, even if it does feel gross. Or do you just feel left out of the pseudo-incest lovin'?
wmayrhofer 18
it's not inbreeding but it sure sounds like you live in the sticks
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Comments (27)
FireCharge 0
The Lannisters send their regards.
vixiecat 8
I guess that’s what happens when your family makes up half of the town’s population.
mehimhere 11
no offence OP, but sounds like your family tree is a tumbleweed.
Emma Marshall 19
I would leave
Alaina Heuerman 21
I-I wanna see this dudes family tree.
BlueSteele220 31
Incest is the best! Why roam when you can get it at home?
Sofia94_fml 15
This is in no way inbred. All of the couples are not even related to each other, they are just related to you. Even if they're closely related enough to each other to gather at a very close mutual relatives family for the vacations and breakups might cause awkwardness amongst family, the couples are from different families, except you and if you have any full siblings are probably the only ones they have in common biologically (or legally in case adoption plays a role) related to all of them if I'm not mistaken. Maybe that's why you feel left out, or probably smushed in the middle all together. sorry OP. The brother and sister might hit close but they still have different parents.
sherbear86 21
Does that make you your own grandpa
sherbear86 21
Your family tree sounds like a shrub
Charlie Given 28
Is your family tree shaped like a DNA Helix 😂