Today, we were having a family get together at my house. Because of this, I had to mow our lawn to make sure it looked nice. I got a little bored and decided it would be funny to cut a rather large penis into my yard. Right when I'd finished, I ran out of gas. My 83 year-old grandmother saw. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought it would be funny to mow a dick into my grandmother's lawn, but the mower leaked gasoline and now there's a giant dead grass outline. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML
Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML
Today, I thought I'd take advantage of the lovely weather and sunbake topless in my grandmother's back yard. My grandma went up the street to do some shopping and didn’t tell me that men were coming to mow the lawn. I was laying on my back. FML
Today, wanting to do something nice for my dad, I mowed the lawn. He grounded me for "emasculating" him. FML
Today, I thought I would surprise my dad by mowing our entire two acre lawn. When he got home, instead of being grateful like I had hoped, he yelled at me for cutting in vertical lines instead of horizontal. FML
Today, I ran out of breath while mowing the lawn. I was on a riding lawn mower. FML
Today, I shaved my pubes while staying at my senile grandma's place. I guess I didn't clean up properly, because she found some hair and insisted someone must have broken in while we were out and used the shower. I had to play along to spare myself embarrassment. FML
Today, my family was celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday. I pulled a little prank and got candles that keep relighting. After a few blows, my grandma fainted. FML
Today, I taught my kid how to mow the lawn. It's a self-propelling mower so it's easy to handle. My kid thought it would be smart to tie the handle down so that he wouldn't have to push it at all. This resulted in the lawn mower blasting through our fence and sinking into my neighbor's pool. FML
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Top comments
24788 7
HAHA owned, that's not so bad though. She's 83 and has probably been through enough to not care.
goode48 0
how the **** do you do that haha thats some creativity
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Comments (148)
propelks09 0
lol i think the penis would have showed up even if you finished mowing the rest of the grass. i lmao when i read this @#109 for 1: you could probably draw a penis in a smaller yard too and for 2: just because someone's yard is big doesn't mean anything about their standard of living
propelks09 0
i meant @# 106^
lolwut_fail 0
This is hardly an FML. You have just discovered your calling in life; you are to be a landscaper. If you can draw an image of a penis with a lawnmower, I'm sure you have a true talent at mowing lawns.
hir23 0
HAHA my boyfriend would SO do this. His grandmother is also 83.
0 3
#30 I don't believe I have ever laughed harder on FML!
doof_fisch 2
#30 made me laugh out loud. #11 What is a spliff?
ful_fml 0
I'll be 20 in a month and the biggest regret of my life thus far is that I've never mowed a giant **** on my parents front lawn.
gabbyisagirl 0
I think shes seen a penis before *roll eyes*
kellster 2
Phallic obsession, much? Get a life, dude.
thequeenofscots 0
I will never understand people and their obsession with drawing/inscribing/carving/cutting/etc phallic symbols into various mediums. Just go play with it in your room and spare the rest of the world your immaturity. And #30: You are my hero.