Monkey
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
United States 🌶️ Spicy
That's one way to start the weekend
Today, my mom called me from jail. She was arrested for having sex in public. I was with my dad when I got the call. FML
Top comments
JiggaJayZ 16
Everyone always wondered why you don't have any of your dads features
misspulkadot24 17
This is one of those double whammy FML's. It's like life gave you a one two punch to the nuts.
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Comments (140)
NixieJ92 6
Wow. Definitely a FYL :(
perdix 31
"Dad, it's for you!"
Tay_racer10 3
No shit!
kalbrek009 20
Exactly, perdix.
Ray_of_midnight 23
"Hello, Son? I'm in jail! Hello, Son? I'm calling you from jail! Happy Birthday, I'm in jail! I like it here! It's nice! I'm in jail! Say 'hi' to your dad, from jail!"
Tdrizzzzzly 19
15 you fail
BellaBelle_fml 23
I feel like I had a seizure when I read this.
Dixbfloppin 11
Am I missing a reference to something here or…?
ComeWakeMeUp426 0
Were you trying to be funny?
wellfuuucckme 7
Apparently ^
Ray_of_midnight 23
Was Not Was had a somewhat obscure song back in the 80s, "Hello Dad? I'm In Jail." It's on Youtube. Guess it was more obscure than I thought. :-(
ilovesarcasm 18
Yes, extremely obscure, and somewhat obtuse to the situation. Nevertheless, I got the reference. I figured you deserved to know. I hope this has been a ray of sunshine for your day, and I want my cookie now. Peanut Butter. :)
Ray_of_midnight 23
Hahaha thank you. *hands you a peanut butter cookie*
ICastillo 25
Maybe there is a reasonable explanation...she tripped and he fell on her and one thing led to another.
KindaFunnyRight 8
I have a feeling her future is f*cked
DocBastard 40
I hope you hung up on her. She made her bed, and now she has to lie in it. Let her dig herself out of her own dumbass grave.
ksks1234 33
There are no beds to make on this one; unless she was at a furniture store.
I_Has_A_Fishy 12
Sorry Doc, I have to disagree. That's a bit harsh. Even parents make mistakes sometimes. Family are the people who are supposed to be there for you. I think OP should have helped his mom out if this was like a first-time event, and maybe find out why she did it. It doesn't even say if OP's parents are married, so she may not even have been cheating. Anyways, one dumb mistake isn't a reason to be cruel to your mom.
Stardew 19
If it were my mom, I know I'd leave her in jail. She knew what she did was wrong on more than one level and now she gets to suffer the consequences of her decisions. And I know if it were the other way around with my mom and me, she'd leave my ass in jail as well.
BellaBelle_fml 23
42 - So if your child/parent/other family commits a murder, or any other crime for that matter, you're just going to let them get away with it because its 'family'? It's called 'tough love'. Yes they're your family, yes you should be there for them and support them, and that sometimes includes you having to punish them and show them what they did was completely wrong. How else are they going to learn?
DocBastard 40
I_Has_A_Fishy - I'm sorry, but did you read the same FML I did? Because in the one *I* read, a woman was arrested for having extra-marital sex in public. So she's not only cheating on her husband, she's doing it IN PUBLIC. That's not exactly something you can call a "mistake". That's called adultery.
SenselessPattern 12
Hate to be nitpicky, but it doesn't say they are married at all, Doc. He refers to them both as 'Mom' and 'Dad' and that is all. Of course, I'm sure it's implied by OP, but it's not completely certain just by the two sentences given.
DocBastard 40
Senseless - It's very much implied by OP. If they weren't married, why would it matter that he was with his father? It wouldn't.
AfrooMack 2
Soo True !
maosquare 18
And here in FML, everyone's a lit major. Sometimes, the curtains are black because it's black; there's no deeper meaning intended by the author.
Meme1988 18
Thats just way too extreme, so much for idial rule model
Kagrish 9
You made my brain cry.
buckdharma 38
youre mom is a big casserole.
japgt97 5
You mom has a big casserole
AH1Zviper 15
Okay kid. Enough with the yo mama jokes. Now get back to class.
xiaodoggiie 5
Reference to the asshole/casserole fml? Lol
SApprentice 34
That's very sad, OP. Try not to take sides, just attempt to remain neutral. Let them try to work this out themselves. If they start arguing, don't let yourself get sucked in. You're not a very young child, so hopefully if they end up divorcing they won't be fighting over you too much. Good luck, and I really hope they can handle this like adults and be mature, but judging from your mother's behavior things may not turn out like that. Also, if you're underage and the two of them start going to court, you can be assigned a legal representative to ensure that they're not taking advantage of you or endangering your well-being in any way.
mtlfenix 7
Bit intense... History of abuse in your life SApprentice?
Futacy 30
Lemme guess, she was humping the monkey?