Monkey
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
United States 🌶️ Spicy
That's one way to start the weekend
Today, my mom called me from jail. She was arrested for having sex in public. I was with my dad when I got the call. FML
Top comments
JiggaJayZ 16
Everyone always wondered why you don't have any of your dads features
misspulkadot24 17
This is one of those double whammy FML's. It's like life gave you a one two punch to the nuts.
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Comments (140)
JiggaJayZ 16
Everyone always wondered why you don't have any of your dads features
Goldenchest 14
This is more of an FML for the dad..
csickcman 11
OP. You're mom is a prostitute. Cheers! :)
CrewBoy 10
41. You're an idiot! Cheers!!!
Inheritance 10
'Mommy why is daddy a different color?' 'Well son that's a wonderful question, ill tell you after you move out and we lose all contact.'
mduffy08 8
56 - I like dark humor and all. But your joke was just not funny.
gc327072 31
55- that would've been epic with your former profile pic, the one that said "Surprise! You're a retard!"
CrewBoy 10
91, holy shit. I regret getting the species change Surgery more than I thought. :( Whatever, I'm still a ******* Ferret!!!
Jeterforever 3
Don't pick her up.
RydeOrDie 7
They were probably divorced. You've got a dumb mom, sucks, but whatever.
killer6969 16
******* bitch
SammyS2012 21
I think the FML is worse if they weren't divorced... There would be no importance in telling us that his father was next to him if so; it's already bad enough without it.
FlyMeAway 2
That must've been awkward to tell your father. FYL OP.
gc327072 31
I'm sure OP wanted to do as your username says.
CrewBoy 10
Dad, it appears that your wife, my mother, is a cheating ***** and we must go to the police station to pick her up. Nah, that's not too bad... O.o
I_Has_A_Fishy 12
They could be divorced. Just because OP was with his dad at the time doesn't mean his parents are married. It may be awkward for him because who would want to tell their father that his ex-wife was caught having sex with someone in public, especially if the divorce was recent. But of course, this FML is made more FML-y by us assuming OP's parents are married. :)
Angel_Cacey 7
I hope your father decided to leave her ass there she deserves it.
MDTeddy 13
This is a wtf response to a ****** up question. Someone clearly is psycho as in the mother.
crazytwinsmom 25
FDL, dad's.
MikeFoxtrot01594 11
It seems like they couldn't be divorced for this to be an FML.
misspulkadot24 17
This is one of those double whammy FML's. It's like life gave you a one two punch to the nuts.
SkoomaKi 28
Or a miscalculated spank.
GracesDelirium 9
Or an attempt at a hand job that was "too forceful" and that hurt like hell (apparently) and resulted in you screaming and then breaking up with life after she calls you a pussy. And that's how I lost my third boyfriend.
xXHollowIchigoXx 17
#72 that sounds... Personal…
GracesDelirium 9
It's FML. We're all family here.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
74) In that case, can I borrow twenty dollars?
doctorhook86 25
72: What the ****? Were you trying to rip his dick off? Those parts are sensitive! The guy's telling you to stop tearing off his wiener, so you call him a pussy? I'd dump you too.
iTsbSkuLLy 8
#12 Fallout fan?
Krajjan 9
76- Never loan money to family.
MormonPornstar 7
12 - No joke man... women don't get it. Don't try to slap my ass. Just because my boys are in the front, doesn't mean they're not in the back too. Always taking back-of-the-sack shots...
crymore007 11
74 I don't talk about handjobs with my family....
mosquito19 14
it's called making extra money
onlychildFTW 34
I don't think mommy is being a hooker. Hookers normally know all the hiding spots for public sex.
imavelociraptor 6
Is it really public if you're hiding?
gc327072 31
Who doesn't want 50% more cash?!
AH1Zviper 15
The baby doesn't. Who, In this case, is the 4th commenter.
zythek 5
It's called illegal...
starfish7 18
Making extra money = OPs mom paying him to keep the secret from his dad.
Big_lama6 7
Was she actually expecting you to bail her out?
BoratSagdiyev 2
My guess is hoping they weren't with dad at the time. Oops.
onlychildFTW 34
Thts an awkward conversation with you mum. And wayyyy more awkward with your dad with you. I feel bad for you and your dad.
smallshaft 10
You did not tell your dad did you? That's when you slip away and bail mom out and blackmail her to get things you want.
andiewithlove 21
What a wonderful influence you are, sir!
infamous56 0
You are an idiot
qwillis98 20
So that's why they call you "smallshaft".
brackaman 18
I'd think if she had the money to get op all the stuff he's supposed to be blackmailing her for, she'd be able to pay for her own bail
benmec 18
Wow. What a great idea. You should be a life coach!!!
smallshaft 10
I am pretty good at it, it's not hard. You write stuff and hit send. Same as you did. It's amazing.
crymore007 11
Maybe your parents are ninjas and you just didn't notice? well your mom did get caught so it's more likely that it's just your dad who's a ninja. either way FYL.
olpally 33
That's intense... There's a bedroom for that kind of thing... Lol... Dumb ass parents ya got there op...
skittycat213 19
Just the mom
KaiserSD 8
You do realize the mom didn't have sex with the father, right? Please tell me people aren't REALLY this dense.
olpally 33
Yes I do realize that... Now, shut up and thumb me down...
ICastillo 25
#36 you do realize it was a joke right? Please tell me people arent this clueless.
Fenthik 4
#46 You realize he just didn't use grammar right,right? Please tell me people aren't this nazi-sh
PhishloverA 14
#46 you do realize #36 was reacting to the last part of the comment where it said dumb "parents" instead of "mom", right? Whether it's a joke or not he was still wrong by saying "Parents."
Krajjan 9
38- ... More?
OldMemoriesFade 8
Did she want to get caught? Sure as hell seems like it. I feel sorry for your dad.. D:
Ray_of_midnight 23
A lot of folks who have sex in public are exhibitionists who either like being watched by others and/or who are trying to shock people.
OldMemoriesFade 8
Well, isn't that kinky, or maybe she wanted a way out of her relationship with the other guy, but didn't know how to tell him...