Today, my friend and I went back to my house after a gym session. After I took my shoes and socks off in the foyer, I told her to wait while I brought some post-workout smoothies. I came back to find her sniffing my socks. She stared back at me for a bit, said, "Uh, catch ya later", and left with my socks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house. One thing led to another and we were just getting to the good parts when his mom walked in. After a long, awkward pause, she said, "I like your socks" and walked out. She's a teacher at my high school. I have to see her every day. FML
Today, after 7 hours on my feet at work, my boyfriend picked me up. Relieved, I took off my shoes. Suddenly, he looked up and sniffed, asking, "Is that your feet?" I'd forgotten to put on socks in my rush to work. He made me put my shoes back on and sit in the back, windows open. FML
Today, after finally breaking up with my controlling girlfriend, she took a shit in my socks. FML
Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched, "What are you doing with my panties!" FML
Today, I went to retrieve my sneakers that my wife made me leave outside the door of our hotel room. Somebody had shat in one of them. FML
Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML
Today, I ran into my roommate coming home at 9 a.m. She was wearing nice clothes, but somehow looked a bit run down. Figuring she was just coming back from a fun night out, I poked fun at her for coming home wearing last night's getup. Turns out it was a fresh outfit. FML
Today, I found some thigh high socks in my boyfriend's drawer. Furious, I confronted him. He confessed they were his and put them on to show me they fit. I had to dump him, it was just too weird. FML
Today, I took a shower at my girlfriend's apartment. I was wandering around, gathering my clothes when I noticed my girl doing her hair in the other room. She looked sort of peculiar, so I stood there, studying her. Half naked. I then realized it wasn't my girlfriend, but her roommate. FML
Today, I went to do laundry in my apartment building. I thought no one was around, so I walked down in my pajamas (a giant t-shirt with holes and socks with sandals). Of course, I ran into the neighbor I’ve had a crush on for months. He was shirtless, holding a laundry basket like an ad for cologne. He smiled and said, “Nice, erm, outfit?” I’ve never sprinted back upstairs faster. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
The "friendship" thing was just a ruse. It was just an elaborate sweaty sock heist scheme. You've been hit by ... the Smooth Criminal. Annie, are you OK?
Thaylok 17
Socks, especially sweaty ones hold our scent tight (closed inside the shoes). I think she LIKES your smell. Maybe even secretly crushes on you. I would expect an FML from her perspective about being caught by her crush inhaling his sweaty sock scent and panic fled (accidently with his socks)
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Comments (4)
Anderling 33
I’m at a loss. She didn’t even drop your socks??? Just ran off and took them?????
JackWood 21
I've heard of foot fetish but never sock fetish. Learn somptin new ever day.
tiptoppc 21
My wife loves smelling me even when I’m so ripe, i can’t stand myself. No clue how she finds it so alluring, but my cat rubs against my feet due to the strong sense of smells it puts off. So I’m guessing genetic compatibility makes people genetically compatible to find others that line up, smell heavenly. It’s not weird, it’s science.
Thaylok 17
Socks, especially sweaty ones hold our scent tight (closed inside the shoes). I think she LIKES your smell. Maybe even secretly crushes on you. I would expect an FML from her perspective about being caught by her crush inhaling his sweaty sock scent and panic fled (accidently with his socks)
RichardPencil 32
The "friendship" thing was just a ruse. It was just an elaborate sweaty sock heist scheme. You've been hit by ... the Smooth Criminal. Annie, are you OK?