Today, I told my son and daughter that their father and I were getting a divorce. They each responded with something like, "Yay! I want to live with Daddy! He buys better presents!" Their father has literally never bought anything for them, one of the many reasons I'm divorcing him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML
Today, for my birthday, the only "gift" my parents gave me was the gift of choice: I got to choose which one of them I'll be living with after their upcoming divorce. This was the first time I'd heard anything about a divorce. FML
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML
Today, while driving my kids to school, my son said, "Why don't you find another place to live, so we can just live with daddy?" Then my daughter added, "Yeah, 'cause we LOVE Daddy." FML
Today, as I was finalizing my divorce with my soon to be ex-wife, she thought it would be a good idea to bring our two children to the divorce court. Before custody was put in place my ex-wife gave them both a piece of candy and promised them a trip to Disneyland they chose her. FML
Today, my eldest daughter announced she was getting divorced. She never even told me she was married. FML
Today, I told my mother that, after years of cheating and abuse, I'm finally getting a divorce. Her reaction was deep concern that my husband might not want to "be friends" with the rest of the family any more. FML
Today, my parents told me they're getting a divorce. However, they asked me not to tell any of the family so that the news doesn't spoil Christmas. Thanks, Mom and Dad. FML
Today, I was out and was having a wonderful time. At exactly midnight, I get a call from my father. He's divorcing my mother. He's also going to Florida with his mistress for the weekend. If that wasn't the best news ever, he'd love if I found an apartment to live in ASAP. FML
Today, I happily announced that I'm getting married. My dad immediately shot back, "And I'm getting E.D., who gives a damn?" Just when I thought he was joking, he muttered that "the bitch" will take everything in our divorce. Moment ruined. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
Daddy doesn't buy anything for them? That's what you think. What about the countless hookers? The cocaine? The Everclear? All that meant NOTHING to you?! Well, it meant THE WORLD to them.
paulymath 0
Maybe "literally never bought anything for them" includes food, shelter, clothing and so forth. You know, literally never bought anything for them. The words the OP used? Sound familiar? Not supporting the children / family at all is a far more valid reason for divorce than just never buying them presents.
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Comments (131)
killyourscene 0
well, either your children are retarded, or you are ignorant. its kinda lose / lose, no?
AntiChrist7 0
You shouldn't have married him in the first place. YDI
TheKitsune 0
So... your children are lying, or you are a self absorbed bint who deserves exactly what she's getting. I think the latter.
xoxcinderellaxox 0
leave the ungrateful kids with the husband. they'll find out the truth and come running back to you.
Bastet1981 3
I am sure there is more to it, then not buying presents for his children.
teiso_fml 0
You're divorcing a guy for no other reason than that he doesn't buy presents for the kids? Not everyone are gift-givers. Besides, it seems like he DOES buy them gifts, after all.
Lakus 0
You're devorcing him just because of him not buying your kids gifts? You deserve it. So much for marrying for love.
Besker 0
I'm going to chose to think that one of said children just needed something important for their health or wellbeing and the father didn't do anything to help. That's my guess
blastvortex 4
Um, you mean that your husband has never paid for a thing in the children's lives or that he's never purchased anything for them directly? If it's the former, then you should dump him like a bad habit. If it's the latter, then both of you are being asses - him for not being nicer to his kids and you for lying on your FML.
hartmanII 0
wow he sounds like a real douche nozzle
Witchcraft_fml 5
Bring home a barrel full of stuffed animals, Hot Wheels, Barbies, candy, and a puppy/kitten. That'll get'em.