Today, I was applying Icy Hot. I squeezed the bottle too hard making it squirt in my eye. I ran to the bathroom in agony, turned on the faucet, and slammed my face right into it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd been going to for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML
Today, while I was eating spicy wings, I suddenly sneezed. I was sitting in front of a fan and effectively maced myself when my spicy sneeze blew back into my face and eyes. FML
Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML
Today, I was clipping my abnormally thick toenails. I had to apply so much pressure on the clippers that a nail flew off, hit me in the eyeball and scratched my cornea. The doctor nearly fell off his chair laughing during my eye exam after I told him what happened. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML
Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML
Today, as I was walking back to my dorm, I looked down and thought, "I wonder why the ground is wet in just this one spot?" Then I got hit with a water balloon. FML
Today, I was getting ready for a date when I noticed a spot on my chin. To get rid of it, I applied my sister's spot cream rather than picking it off. Within minutes, my entire chin looked like a swollen tomato. FML
Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom stall when a man made eye-contact with me through the crack in the door. I quickly looked away, but about a minute later I looked back to see if he was gone. He was still there and was actually trying to keep making eye-contact with me while I pooped. FML
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Top comments
SeduceRecycle 0
Nooooooo good.
YupImBack 0
shit happens
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Comments (75)
poiuytjfffc 0
That's why they say "don't be hasty"
I_Am_Blacklight 2
JACK OFF WITH ICY HOT GREAT IDEA
michelleissexy 0
this is the funniest FML I've read in a while!!!
krr10 5
Ironically, icy hot is supposed to relieve pain... Fail
RainaMadeilline 0
Wonder which felt better getting it in your eye or slamming your face into the faucet
SeanDoyle 1
My brother got icy hot in his eye once. Burnt the cornea. Luckily you didn't but you still smashed your face. Nooiccceee. Lol
sugarbear0727 19
I actually laugh really hard at this.
jutyjaty 9
Applying it to where?
Franniee_ 17
lol did anyone else think of SpongeBob and his black eye ? haha (x
ArchitectX 3
hahaha I have some kind of phobia from faucets smashing my face