Today, I awakened from my peaceful slumber in a great mood. I walked into my closet, ready to pick out an outfit for the day, to find my two year old daughter, kneeling on the floor with a pair of scissors in her hand, cutting up my wedding dress - my wedding is tomorrow. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found my 6 year-old daughter upstairs, lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving, "the carpet a haircut." FML
Today, it is my wedding day. I couldn't find my very expensive wedding dress anywhere. After almost 2 hours of panic and chaos, I found it in my pool, covered in red paint, with a note on one of my lounge chairs reading, "Today is MY wedding day, bitch." FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of scissors. My mom was cutting my hair while I was asleep. FML
Today, I went to pick up my wedding dress from the seamstress, only to find out that my fiancé called two weeks ago to say I wanted the dress "tie-dyed to match our new theme." She believed him. Our wedding is tomorrow. FML
Today, I woke up following one of the worst nightmares of my life. I was sweating, clutching the sheets, and feeling sick to the stomach. I'd been dreaming of my wedding that's taking place next week. FML
Today, I accidentally slept in two hours later than I was supposed to. Today is my wedding day. FML
Today, my sister shaved a chunk of my hair off while I was sleeping. I'm getting married in three days. FML
Today, my maid of honor, who offered to take care of my wedding dress before the D-Day, left it near her open window during heavy rain. My dress is now ruined, and she's backed out due to stress. I'm supposed to be getting married tomorrow. FML
Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML
Today, my daughter finally walked down the aisle with a man she loves very much. While I was escorting her, I managed to trip and fall down revealing what I've been trying to hide all of this time: my shiny gleaming bald head that showed when my wig fell off. FML
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Top comments
CraziOne 0
Where would you put scissors that a two year old can get them?
brrrx 0
What kind of mother are you leaving scissors sharp enough to cut a wedding dress within reach of your 2 year old!? Not to mention...where the hell was the garment bag?
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Comments (199)
dELiA14 0
FYL x100million However, why didn't the girl know she wasn't supposed to cut up your wedding dress? Maybe you can buy a off-the-rack dress in your size... They have some good ones out there! At least your still getting married :)
FarSide 23
A two year old know why not to cut up a dress? You are being funny right? Or are you suffering with cranial constipation? Someone should have taught you not to play with computers.
dELiA14 0
**** #117 beating kids is NOT the answer!
purplepickle 0
And it's not slutty to have a kid with someone who isn't going to leave you. They're getting married!!! congrats, btw.
XxCoolPersonxX 0
@#68 dammnn! I'm on an effin iPhone for damn sake! we all make mistakes retard!
FarSide 23
You are forgiven for having an iphone
likethat_fml 0
Filling in your own preferences and values for someone else is immature.
deadboy73 0
and that's why you should have the children after marriage
drkwlf 0
Yeah, okay. Not saying all parents should be like me. However, I've woken up at the slightest noise my kids have made since I had them. If they wake up, I wake up. Perhaps I'm just too paranoid, but I see nothing wrong with it as it kinda ensures nothing like this happens. I'd have been more relieved and grateful my child was OK then even worrying about my dress, I think. Just the thought makes me scared. Not saying it's shitty about your dress, I think that's important, but not nearly on a scale of what could have happened.
bulletwings 0
I agree with you. I'd be more concerned about the child than the dress.
gummibehrs 4
I'm sure she was relieved the child was okay, but the point of the FML was that her wedding dress was destroyed the day before her wedding.
gummibehrs 4
I'm sure she was relieved the child was okay, but the point of the FML was that her wedding dress was destroyed the day before her wedding.
zander09 0
How about getting married first, then maybe having kids?
gummibehrs 4
You deserve any misfortunes in your future for not understanding that accidents happen.
drkwlf 0
Can I also add, wouldn't the first thing you do when you wake up is go check on your kid rather than picking out an outfit?
wordgirl 0
Perhaps this is a good moment to plumb her emotions about your impending marriage? (hopefully to her father?)