Today, I awakened from my peaceful slumber in a great mood. I walked into my closet, ready to pick out an outfit for the day, to find my two year old daughter, kneeling on the floor with a pair of scissors in her hand, cutting up my wedding dress - my wedding is tomorrow. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found my 6 year-old daughter upstairs, lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving, "the carpet a haircut." FML
Today, it is my wedding day. I couldn't find my very expensive wedding dress anywhere. After almost 2 hours of panic and chaos, I found it in my pool, covered in red paint, with a note on one of my lounge chairs reading, "Today is MY wedding day, bitch." FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of scissors. My mom was cutting my hair while I was asleep. FML
Today, I went to pick up my wedding dress from the seamstress, only to find out that my fiancé called two weeks ago to say I wanted the dress "tie-dyed to match our new theme." She believed him. Our wedding is tomorrow. FML
Today, I woke up following one of the worst nightmares of my life. I was sweating, clutching the sheets, and feeling sick to the stomach. I'd been dreaming of my wedding that's taking place next week. FML
Today, I accidentally slept in two hours later than I was supposed to. Today is my wedding day. FML
Today, my sister shaved a chunk of my hair off while I was sleeping. I'm getting married in three days. FML
Today, my maid of honor, who offered to take care of my wedding dress before the D-Day, left it near her open window during heavy rain. My dress is now ruined, and she's backed out due to stress. I'm supposed to be getting married tomorrow. FML
Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML
Today, my daughter finally walked down the aisle with a man she loves very much. While I was escorting her, I managed to trip and fall down revealing what I've been trying to hide all of this time: my shiny gleaming bald head that showed when my wig fell off. FML
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Top comments
CraziOne 0
Where would you put scissors that a two year old can get them?
brrrx 0
What kind of mother are you leaving scissors sharp enough to cut a wedding dress within reach of your 2 year old!? Not to mention...where the hell was the garment bag?
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Comments (199)
kookoo831 0
whos kid is it?
jannie22 0
someone deserves a spanking....
juggaloprince94 0
why does your two tear old know how to use scissors?
Nyzjahrenee 0
I would have smacked the shit out of her and locked her in a damn room.
pokamoon 0
I'm not sure its wise to sleep and leave a two yr old roaming the house, maybe be thankful it was just a cut up dress you woke up to?
emo771999 6
Oh my god that's horrible
farmgirl1992 0
OMG for one where is your garment bag for two were you not suppose to be watching your child and for three why in God's name would you leave a pair of scissors lying around at a height that a two year old could access them? You definatly deserve that one
Shelberry16 0
oooh my kid would be in so much troubleee!