Today, I was in Walmart on a motorized cart and got stuck on a clothing rack next to a super hot guy. Panicking, I said "I just had surgery, I'm a new driver." After failing to get myself unstuck he had to pull the clothes rack and I apart. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to a crowded Walmart with the hot new girl I'm dating. It was raining and we had to park far from the entrance. As soon as we got out of my car, she started sprinting to get out of the rain. I ran to catch up and slipped on a metal plate, and did a reverse Superman onto my ass. FML
Today, I was at Walmart. A guy in a mobility scooter bumped into me, then told me to "get the fuck out of the way." When I told him to watch his mouth, he got up and shoved me into a shelf. Just a few minutes prior, he'd yelled that he was paralyzed from the waist down. FML
Today, I was at the store with my wife. As we were walking out, I helped an elderly woman get through the door. As I was opening the door, my foot got stuck on the door and my face was catapulted into the woman's breasts. It wasn't until we got into the car that my wife burst into hysterics. FML
Today, I was at work at Walmart, casually walking in the middle of the store, when my foot caught on something, so I went flying forward and yelled, being caught off guard, to the point I had to pretend I was running for 3 seconds, then someone blocked my path so I suddenly had to stop. Everyone was staring at me. FML
Today, I was trying on clothes in a store that had just screens set up for changing. As I took off the first pair of pants had I tried on, my foot got hooked in the cuff and I fell out in my underwear in front of the whole store. FML
Today, while at work, I walked head first into the edge of a clothing rack. I was looking right at it. People saw. FML
Today, I got stuck in a dress in the fitting room and had to call the sales associate for help. She had to crawl under the door to rescue me. FML
Today, I got locked inside the entrance area of a Walmart. I had to get an employee to get me out. FML
Today, I tried on a tight sweater at the mall. It got stuck halfway over my head, and I couldn’t get it off. I had to shuffle out of the changing room, arms trapped in the air, and ask the clerk for help while blinded by the fabric. FML
Today, I went to a store to buy pants for a new job. A really hot guy helped me get a pair down from a high shelf so I could try them on. He had flirted with me so I hurried in the fitting room so I could go talk to him. Note to self: Check to see if you have pants on after trying on clothes. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
extremereviews 26
That's why you can't get too emotionally attached to clothing displays
Tripartita 45
If life were a sitcom, this would be a huge sign you two were about to become romantically involved. Bonus points if you thanked him with an unintentional innuendo. "Thanks for coming between me and that big rack. Um. Normal-sized /clothing/ rack."
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (16)
SneakyDeath 15
At least he helped.
Tabeling101 0
Sorry I should have posted that I had Knee surgery from a car accident that wasn't my fault. I understand a lot of people use the carts when they shouldn't. But until you know the story......