Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend when we started messing around. Things were getting really hot when he got a call from his best friend, whose grandfather had just died. As they were talking and I heard her crying, he unzipped his pants and mouthed, "She won't know." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at my grandpa's funeral, my boyfriend texted me while sitting right beside me, asking if we could have sex when the "family get together" was finally over. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to have a shoulder to cry on because my grandpa died. As soon as I told him, he started crying and telling me how much he missed his grandmother, who died six years ago. I spent the majority of the phone call listening to him wail. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
Today, I was getting frisky with my fiancée when she started talking about her dead great-grandma. FML
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend has been having an intimate text exchange with a woman. She's the grieving widow of his friend who died three weeks ago. FML
Today, I found out my grandmother passed away. When I told my boyfriend I began to cry. Instead of caring, he said "you're getting my bed wet," rolled over, and fell asleep. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the other house phone to make a call, and had heard it all. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend. Things got a little hot and I started to pull up my shirt. She screamed and told me to stop because the innocence of her stuffed animals was at stake. We are 18, and she was dead serious. FML
Today, I was chatting with my girlfriend and I asked her to give me her phone to make a call since mine was dead. A text came in from someone and the name sounded familiar. My best friend has been dating my girlfriend longer than I have, and she gave him head. I kissed her earlier that day. FML
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Top comments
Nexxion 0
Today, I called up my best friend because my grandfather had just died. I suddenly hear the sound of a zipper, some moaning, and a dialtone as he hangs up while I'm still bawling. FML
MtVernonVA 0
Then what happened?
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Comments (228)
mother_green7 0
HAHAHA!! so...did you do the nasty? details! details!
FML2x 0
hahahahhahahahah thats funny as all get out!!!!!!!!!! i wouldnt say it was an fml id say more like and rofl or lmfao hahahahah :)
mother_green7 0
i agree with 98, definite movie scene potential
pinkdumbledore 0
ass. dump him.
route95 0
I would hate to have a boyfriend that inconsiderate and deceitful. YDI for dating him.
kisseshugsdrugs 5
um, i agree with a few other posts. why would you answer your phone if youre about to ****? if it keeps ringing turn it on silent then call them back. how can someone be mad at you for getting some action? and if they are, theyre not a friend. on the other hand, this is hilarious.
meimallworried 0
You need to go to the nearest Burger King and ask for a crown..cause your boyfriend's a king.
Ghibili99 0
ha, i need to meet this guy. he sounds pretty ******* legit.
rocket9 0
WOW
amyohmegee 0
LMAO, TOO FUNNY