Today, I overheard my mother telling my sister that she expects my marriage to fall apart any day now. Apparently, I have no concept of what "marriage" really means. My husband and I just celebrated our 7th anniversary, while my mother is planning her 5th wedding. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I overheard my mom talking on the phone with my sister about how much they hate my fiancé. My wedding is in two weeks and my family has been pretending to like my future husband for three years. FML
Today, I had a double wedding with my sister. My mother, being as encouraging as she always is, told us that statistics say one of our marriages will end in divorce. She then explained she thinks it'll be mine because I'm "a self-absorbed bitch." FML
Today, marks the sixth day in a row that my mum has called me to discuss my upcoming wedding. She's obsessed and has intimidated the actual planner I hired into going along with her plans. She's slipped up twice already and accidentally referred to it as her own wedding. Just great. FML
Today, my mom informed me she got married two weeks ago. Hard to congratulate her when this is her eighth husband. FML
Today, I announced my engagement. My mother's response was to freak out and demand that I postpone my wedding indefinitely. Why? My younger sister caught the bouquet at a wedding last year, so "she has to get married first!" My sister has been single for 3 years and showers once a week. FML
Today, while visiting my widowed great aunt, she took out her wedding rings and talked about the love she and my uncle had. Smiling, I told her that one day I hope to have as happy a marriage as theirs. Her response? "Knowing you, I wouldn't count on it." My mother sat there agreeing. FML
Today, my ex-husband and the woman he left me for, also known as my sister, are getting married. On my birthday. My mom is gleefully helping plan the wedding. She seriously sees nothing wrong, and tells me to “stop being a Bitter Betty and be happy for your sister.” FML
Today, I got married and my mom refused to be there because my dad, whose guts she hates, was there even though I promised repeatedly that I would keep them apart. I couldn't do the mother-son dance. She keeps insisting that it was a "lapse in judgment." Yeah, like we're really going to be able to have a do-over. FML
Today, I planned on introducing my fiancé to my parents. After the introductions, and telling him how I hoped our relationship would have the same amount of love and commitment that has lasted my mother and father for 25 years, my parents awkwardly announced their imminent divorce. FML
Today, my boyfriend's mother told me she had fantasies about throwing him out a window when he was a baby because she was so depressed and couldn't handle the stress. The worst part is he wants to get married. She'd be my mother-in-law. FML
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Top comments
whiteboy896 9
What a hypocrite!
DarkJediLove 19
Don't mind her, she seems to think marriage is about quantity and not quality.
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Comments (120)
80skid 15
She's going on her fifth marriage, she's an expert!
amsdredre22 12
I hate shit like that! Ignore your mother; and congratulations on your anniversary. I hope your marriage flourishes, and her fifth one sucks. Which, it probably will anyway.
onorexveritas 24
and she's talking? set her straight op
vbmg152 19
7th, really? Talk to me when you go over 20 years! My Mother's been married 4 or 5 times as well & she said the same thing about my marriage! Well, as I said, it's 25 years later, I'm happily married still & she's all alone!
stubrnirishiiiii 7
That's exactly what my family does!! Tell them to shut the hell up. U know what you're doing :)
madgrinchhatter 12
She can't allow herself to accept that your marriage is working because then she would have to admit to herself that she's doing something wrong in her love life
Tupelo_Honey 30
Congratulations on your 7th anniversary! Your mom sounds like SHE should be taking marital advice from YOU!
xSalashawty 30
It's sad to see people like that, especially hypocritical ones. Congrats to you and your husband though. c:
michaelaranda 28
So why let it bother you
emCgold 5
She is just very jealous that you have a very good marriage and she doesn't!