Today, during a dinner party, some friends brought up how sweet, innocent and caring they thought I was. I had to sit there as my drunk boyfriend cut them off and loudly argue that I was neither sweet nor innocent, and really nothing that special at all. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after hanging out with my boyfriend’s group once, they’ve decided I’m a “prissy stuck-up bitch who thinks she’s perfect.” I’m not at all. They just engage in nothing but insults and self-deprecating “jokes” without any real conversation. Sorry for not putting myself down for amusement. FML
Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his family. They were drinking and having fun, so I joined in. I had one too many, got really goofy, and then suggested the farting game. "Sorry, I can't hold my liquor!" I quickly explained. My boyfriend's mom shot me a cold look and said, "It's non-alcoholic." FML
Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML
Today, I bumped into my next door neighbor. She said, "Not for nothing, but I heard you fighting with your boyfriend last night, you're pretty harsh on him." I don't have a boyfriend, I was just drunk and castigating myself. FML
Today, at dinner with my boyfriend and my family, my mother had too much to drink and asked my boyfriend how I was in bed with the purpose of embarrassing me. His reply? "Not as good as her sister." His defense? "It was only one time." FML
Today, we had our friends over for dinner, one of whom is a psychiatrist. After a few drinks, my drunk wife and the equally drunk psychiatrist began to analyze my various character flaws. FML
Today, at a party I bumped into a friend of my ex. We caught the same bus home. He started telling me about my ex's "totally insane" ex-girlfriend. He refused to believe me when I told him he was talking about me. I had to sit there for half an hour as my personality was ripped to shreds. FML
Today, I threw a birthday party for my boyfriend. As a joke, my friend and I served him non-alcoholic beer to see how he'd react. After a while, he faked being drunk, using it as an excuse after I caught him making out with one of my so-called "friends". FML
Today, I was invited by my boyfriend's parents for dinner at their house. The dinner went well I thought, until I was getting ready to leave. Before I could make it out the front door, I could hear them discussing their disappointment that their son would ever consider someone like me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to taste some wine with some friends. I drank a little too much and referred to him as my brother to a random guy. Let’s just say I put a strain on my relationship. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
BlargHonk 0
Well, as the Romans said, "in vino veritas." In wine there is truth. So, at least now you know what your boyfriend *really* thinks about you.
taylershea 0
awh! You don't deserve that!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (84)
Calyx_fml 22
OP, he wants to give you reason to dump him, because he's too much of a pussy to do it himself. You can do better.
screwedup92 5
dump that douchebag!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
screwedup92 5
dump that douchebag!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SoulSinner 0
hmmm, and the funny thing about it is that people almost always tell the truth when they are drunk. sad face for you. FYL.
JustJaredfied 0
dump him
Sexy_Lexi_Gonz 0
nobody deserves that treatment. my old boyfriend said that. dumped his ass
Ads8111 0
Damn, you need to set him streight.
shanny998 3
drunken words r sober thoughts ;)
cheetahcake19 0
Awh that's uncalled for. :( maybe it was just cuz he was drunk. Some people turn into major douche bags when they're drunk
kaylapple 1
awwh... thats so mean. your boyfriend is an ass.