Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary at the park. I was watching him play around with the wood chips on the ground and thought I saw him making a heart being romantic, so I got on top of the playground to look. Turns out it was the balls of a giant penis, complete with pubes. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went to meet my boyfriend for a walk. It's our anniversary, and I hadn't seen him in over a month because of the quarantine, so we agreed to meet, as long as we had the proper safety gear and were careful. On my way to meet him, I drove past a park. In it were twelve half-naked teenagers playing volleyball. FML
Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend to our local park, and I playfully climbed into one of the baby swings. I planned on having him push me, not getting stuck and having to be cut free from the seat while he laughed. FML
Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML
Today, in the middle of a romantic walk through the park where we had our first date, my husband actually walked into a tree because he was looking at a woman who had sat down on the grass in such a position that he could see up her skirt. Very romantic of him, I must say. FML
Today, I was at the park with my new boyfriend. We were sitting between some trees when some of his mates turned up in the park. He pushed me behind a tree so his mates wouldn't see and went to join them in a game of football. He pretended not to know me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be romantic to take me to a strip club for our 1-year anniversary. FML
Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting' noises. This was his attempt at foreplay. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the local park for some romantic time together. By the time we left, I'd been called a pedo and a cradle robber, and been given several dirty looks. I'm 31. My boyfriend is 30 and just very baby-faced. FML
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Top comments
captainmarshall1 0
So what? Thats what guys do! they draw penises however and wherever they can... its a way of marking your territory... how would you rate his dick drawing anyways?
pandorasnymph 0
or maybe he s gay
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Comments (66)
PhillyFox 0
Yup. Your life is ****** now.
perdix 31
I think he is hinting that for your anniversary, he wants a threesome. He wants you to find two other dudes and then get the hell out.
Enoch134 0
not a win :( at least you tried come on pal u use to be a legend
perdix 31
I've never been perfect. I just try to do a something different from "That sucks" and "YDI for being a *****." Sometimes, they are winners, other times, . . ., not so much.
storms_fml 0
uch guys can b so discusting
PentiumBawls8 0
it would have been funnier if he went down a slide that resembled a giant penis hahaha
Whiskan 0
He sounds funny. That's no FYL. i enjoy the story but maybe it shouldn't be on this site. Maybe you should send it to hustler magazine and see if that's a little more appropriate.
MidgetMonster 0
sorry, nevermind sentimental, tender things, he is too preoccupied with his penis.
perdix 31
Or some other dude's penis?
rollursk8r 0
ok.. why are you playing in the park on your anniversary? do something romantic.
luvmuffin10 0
I bet you guys went home
eeks8 0
sorry but who goes to a play park for your anniversary? But odd.
onnielief 4
ROFL. You realise romance is just emotional foreplay, right? At least your man is not affraid to leave a few hints ;-)