Today, my 13 year-old sister had to explain the bases to me. Turns out, I have skipped first and second base and gone straight to third, without even realizing it. What makes it worse is that she told my mother, and now my whole family thinks I'm a slut. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I, an insecure high school student, told my 11-year-old sister that I got my period in third grade. She responded with, “What?! Then how come you didn’t have tits until last year?” FML
Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year-old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
Today, I told my mom that I walked in on my sister and her boyfriend having sex. My mom flew into a rage and slapped me several times, calling me a liar and made me apologize to my sister for saying something “so disgusting” about her. I wasn’t lying and she just smirked the whole time. FML
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
Today, my parents heard from my sister that I'd recently lost my virginity to my girlfriend. I've never been bitched out so viciously in my life, and yet my sister, whom everyone knows has had numerous casual sexual partners this year, is treated like a princess 24/7. FML
Today, I'm in 12th grade and came home from school to find out my mother had someone over to have sex while I was at school. She's not had sex my whole life, so the uncomfortable feeling it gave me is different than anything I've felt before. She's been single by the way. FML
Today, my half-sister lied and told my mom I got a girl at school pregnant. My mom is unreasonable at the best of times, but after a full hour trying to get me to name this nonexistent girl, she's calling every parent from school to check if their daughters are hiding a secret pregnancy. FML
Today, my mom found a book of dirty stories I'd written in tenth grade. She then told me that I wrote about things she'd never even thought about, and she's been having sex for years. If that wasn't bad enough, she's taken them in to work to show people. FML
Today, my mom called me a slut after she found out I sleep naked. This is how desperate she is for any excuse to yell at me. FML
Today, I walked in on my 13-year-old sister cutting her pubic hair with scissors. After a long talk about what on earth she was doing, she confessed to doing it so her boyfriend could find her clitoris. FML
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Top comments
mudkipsan 19
So you've been fingered but are still waiting for your first kiss? Don't fall asleep on the city bus again.
Eresbel 0
How could you skip first (which is generally making out, I believe) and second (feeling up, maybe a little below the waist action, but not oral) and go straight to third base (below the waist/oral)? I honestly don't understand.
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Comments (138)
Tehalon 0
Your life, screw everyone that has an oppinion that doesnt agree with yours ;P
iDONTNO54 0
In other words; shes a ****. ;P
latuka 0
LMAO #8
sprinkesrdelish 5
wtf? I think your sister is messing with you. Unless you just give head before you kiss someone.
reallyannoyed 0
At least you had your first kiss. Just a little bit further down than expected.
Thisbe_fml 0
Obsessing over "bases" is juvenile. If what you're doing is consensual and legal, and in line with safe sex practices, go ahead and don't worry about your prudish family.
Lolrus 0
Uber confused face.
quiksta 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
how old are all of you? whatever, that's irrelevant. none of you morons can even agree on what the bases are anyway. idiots.
couldbeworse55 0
ROFL esp@10. So... if you start at 3, where do you go next? Back to 2, or 1? Maybe straight home? btw, guys can be ***** too, although I'm guessing you're a girl. Guys tend to understand sports references, or at least pretend to, to avoid mockery. For a more detailed explanation, I recommend xkcd Either way, I'm guessing your family is right, but hey, so what? have fun, and don't be a fool, wrap your (his) tool! :-D
starbaby 0
So you don't kiss, how did this happen someone just whipped out there junk and you went at it I can understand skipping 2 maybe but one? "I'd really like to kiss you...down there"
loopy_fml 0
I do not understand this. How do you skip steps?