Today, a customer at work was having hiccups, so I suggested she should try to hold her breath for a while. Ten minutes later, she's talking to my manager about how I wanted her to "kill herself because of her severe medical condition." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was accidentally rude to a customer and she told me to kill myself. My boss came over, told me that she agreed wholeheartedly with the customer, and then said, "I have no idea where you got this delusion that anyone would be sad if you died." FML
Today, my annoying colleague gasped, wrapped her arms around herself, started sweating, and curled up in a ball crying, "No, no, no" in front of several customers. They accused me of "setting her off", when I blurted out, "Sorry, she gets panic attacks." All I did was say the word "abortion." FML
Today, my boss yet again said she was "literally dying", after she watched a funny video online. Long story short, I'm now on her shitlist because I couldn't help but point out that she clearly wasn't dying, and that her ranting was distracting me from doing actual work. FML
Today, I got the hiccups at work no fewer than ten times in a row. I'm a cashier and not allowed to leave to go get water. Not only that, but I was called into the office to discuss my “drinking problem.” I don’t drink. FML
Today, my boss was skeptical when I told her I had a terrible migraine and needed to go home for the day early. I removed all her doubts by puking over her. FML
Today, my wife was in seemingly never-ending labor. It got so bad, I overheard a nurse in the doorway mutter to a coworker that she hoped my baby would just die or something, so she could finally go take a smoke break. FML
Today, I was helping an old lady at my job. While I was in mid-sentence, she coughed wet phlegm directly into my mouth. It tasted vile and caused me to have a panic attack while working. FML
Today, I walked into the office bathroom and saw my manager in tears. I tried to comfort her and gave her a hug. Turns out, she wasn’t crying, she was having a sneezing fit, and looked horrified at my sympathy hug. FML
Today, I briefly had the coolest boss in the world. He stormed over to a nasty customer who was giving me hell, and he absolutely laid into her. It lasted about 10 seconds before he collapsed from a major heart attack. A coworker's already blamed me for not pacifying the customer in the first place and causing all this to happen. FML
Today, I reduced a customer to tears and she had a tantrum, saying that nobody loves her, her life is a joke, and she’d be better off dead. This ordeal happened to grab the attention of my manager who was nearby. All I did was tell her that an item she wanted was sold out and offered to help her order it online. FML
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Top comments
Leviathene 34
Don't get too close, you'll catch the stupid.
OlRed 28
I'm sure now you are wishing you had tried to scare her to death instead.
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Comments (30)
amsterdamgirl 20
where do these people come from...?
FrostyyFML 15
I live in Ontario, I can confirm that at least 75% of the people here would say the same thing.
Dilexar 26
Shocking, coming from Canada.
Punkpoptart1119 20
People will try anything nowadays to get others in trouble. The trick you suggested is one that I always use. Sorry you have to deal with the stupid, OP. FYL.
maikeru1979 23
just for your information OP.....to most people Hiccups are NOTHING. but for a small majority of people called Epileptics hiccups can and most always are MORE THAN JUST HICCUPS. I am an Epileptic that was diagnosed in 2008 since then we have learned that more often than not the "hiccups" for me ARE ACTUALLY SEIZURES THAT CAN KILL YOU. the way the woman acted wasn't the right way to do it, but from the limited story you gave us you were in the wrong also
nanner6206 24
#26, I disagree. You stated it's a SMALL percentage of people who have this issue, (and I believe that as I've never heard of it) but OP is NOT in the wrong. OP did exactly what the gargantuan percentage of people would do. None of us will assume it's not normal hiccups and refrain from making normal suggestions because, again, it isn't a common issue.
xxUnknown 19
Guess you can't help people out these days
Oh_No_Not_Him 25
Next time, suggest that the best cure is immersing her head in a bucket of water.