Today, I was babysitting some kids and helping them make a poster about insects. They couldn't think of any more insects to add so I suggested a spider, and got told to "not be a dumbass, spiders aren't insects they're arachnids." The girl is six. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML
Today, I saw a spider. My two year-old knows that I'm afraid of them, but in an attempt to not pass my phobia onto him, I said it was a piece of dirt. Now he thinks that I'm afraid of dirt. I did not think this through. FML
Today, I asked my 8-year-old daughter to kill a house spider for me. I am a 42-year-old man. FML
Today, a large spider climbed inside my lunchbox while my mom was making me sandwiches. She didn't tell me about it until after I got home from school, though, and only because I mentioned a strange aftertaste in the sandwiches. She said she didn't want me to worry over lunch because she knows I hate spiders. FML
Today, while babysitting my nephew, I was looking through a bin of toys, and I saw a fake spider. I picked it up to do a prank with. It wasn't fake. FML
Today, I found out that my kids played around with a bunch of caterpillars they'd found in the yard, then informed me they'd eaten a few. I then had to scramble to Google "Is this kind of caterpillar poisonous?" FML
Today, the 6 year old girl I was babysitting asked me, "Why are you so ugly? Are you an alien? Because aliens are about as ugly as you are." FML
Today, my mom volunteered me to help out at her coworker's 5-year-old son's birthday party. I didn't realize until I got there that "helping out" meant "dressing up as Spider-Man". FML
Today, I was babysitting a 5-year-old girl and we were coloring. She made me a card that was very sweet, so I smiled. She looked at me and went "Don't smile, your smile is really scary." FML
Today, I was with my kids. We saw a tiny little bug and they started freaking out. Trying to show them that bugs are not scary, I picked it up. It bit me and now I have to go to the doctor because my hand is the size of a balloon. FML
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Top comments
FMLenV 0
Haha, that is so sad but so funny.
ryoga 0
She should have slapped you, too.
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Comments (157)
jaxsk 0
You deserved that.
Dude_fml 0
To be more precise, spiders are Araneae, as achnids also include, but is not limited to, scorpions.
lady_gogo 0
ha! I'd share the sentiments with you-- I didn't know that either.
iiTEMP524 0
Now that's what's up...
ShortyBBangin 0
AHAHAHAHAH..
hunterjumper24 0
haha..I love that six year old!!
f0rg3t_m3_n0t 0
What is it with all these FMLs that involve children swearing?
FYOURLIFE13 0
What's with 6 year olds nowadays? I didn't know the word dumbass when I was 6.. I also wouldn't have said it if I did know.
_cupcake 0
my brother says things to me i would never ever say to anyone. and he's going to turn six in december :/
Tubasaurus 0
It's just a word, calm down.
Tubasaurus 0
So many people freaking out about a damn word. If the OP had substituted the word dumbass with imbecile, the meaning would not change, but nobody would be suggesting punishing the kid for saying a "bad" word.