Today, my four-year-old daughter believes that all women will automatically become pregnant at some point during their lives. At least we don’t have to save for college. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I have four daughters in high school. All four announced they are pregnant. FML
Today, my youngest, the 17 year-old, told me she’s pregnant. That makes it official: despite all my warnings about safe sex, all three of my daughters got pregnant before the age of 18. FML
Today, my daughter told me that she’s pregnant with twins. It would be an exciting piece of news, except for the fact that she’s a sophomore in high school. FML
Today, my 18 year-old son learned that just because his girlfriend was on top doesn't mean gravity will prevent her from becoming pregnant. FML
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
Today, my daughter said she would never ever have kids because then she'll bleed through her vagina or get stitches on her stomach. She turned 7 last week and learnt this at school from friends. I'm yet to have the "periods" talk with her. Now I'm scared to start it. FML
Today, my 5 year-old announced she’s “pregnant” and rubbed her tummy. I told her that it was impossible, since you have to be a grownup to get pregnant. She said that her oversized teddy bear made her “pregnant” and began humping him while sing-songing the word “pregnant.” No idea who taught her that. FML
Today, my daughter is engaged to her soon-to-be fifth husband. She's 32 and refuses to believe she's the problem in relationships, and she wants me to pay for this wedding. FML
Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML
Today, my child-hating friend who vowed never to have any no matter what, announced that she's pregnant. I've had three IVF cycles, spent $90k in fertility treatments, and still can't conceive. FML
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Top comments
Marcella1016 32
Seems you’re being a little hard on your *FOUR* year old. Kids come up with stuff that makes sense to them (baby comes out of belly button, stuff like that), and guess what? They learn from their parents correcting and teaching them! Maybe you’re intentionally exaggerating to make the FML funny, but I hope to God you have more patience and understanding with your poor kid!
mike3775 39
Your child is 4. Ask your parents how many things you said at 4 and get back to me. Trust me, I have had many 4 yr old kids, and each and everyone has said things like that at that age. This is a FML for your daughter, not you. Poor kid.
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Comments (21)
princess_stabitty 20
If that was an attempt at joking, OP, you fail so bad it's hard to believe. And if you mean it seriously, slap yourself and then look at what you wrote and slap yourself again. I doubt you knew everything correctly at four years, and expecting your daughter to know is sign of your own stupidy.
Hempseed 27
Children tend to learn from their environment and their parents. Either she heard this somewhere from other kids, her friends, family members including her parents or she came to this conclusion herself and nobody has made any attempt to correct her. That said, I'll bet you believed some pretty wild shit at four years old as well. It's your responsibility as a parent to teach her otherwise. Do your job.
Brightside86 31
Honestly, that's less weird than how it actually works.
d3rpb0t 10
Somehow I get the feeling OP meant fourteen not four. Or at least I'm hoping they're not THAT much of a bitch to think this lowly of a toddler.
dragonladiesfire 19
Honestly? let's be happy that a 4 year old DOESN'T KNOW how women get pregnant. Secondly, children aren't magically born knowing everything. if you think children are born knowing everything, you shouldn't have kids. at all. they must be taught. they pick up on their surroundings. I hope she doesn't get your attitude/lame humor that's borderline rude and obnoxious.
himitsusj 6
Hooo buddy. I hope your 4-year-old has other people in her life more understanding of the fact that she's an actual child. >_>
ClickClackClive 3
And when are you picking up your Nobel Peace Prize??? What a horrible snippy post about a child
Taurus_ChicKa 37
She's four years old. Give her a break. When I was that age, I believed a woman magically got pregnant when she got married. I believed God put a baby inside her stomach at that point in time. Sheesh, cut the poor kid some slack.
peterblackmer91 12
What is wrong with you? She's 4. And because she doesn't understand procreation you're assuming she's stupid?? Wow. Bad bad parenting.
randybryant799 21
Are you kidding me? Your poor kid is only 4. How could she possibly know ? I'm worried about her with you as a mother.