Today, at a mixed-family game of rugby, my dad resorted to calling me a "goddamned accident" and eventually body-slamming me, just so I'd stop playing long enough for his team to score. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML
Today, my family are really into rugby so I tried out for a local team. It didn't go well, and afterwards I couldn’t find my dad anywhere. It turns out he was so embarrassed by my sheer incompetence, he got in his car and drove away. I had to walk 9 miles home, which isn’t easy in rugby boots. FML
Today, I accidentally tackled my own teammate during a rugby match, so our coach made me walk the 5 miles back home instead of driving me home with the rest of the team. FML
Today, my dad threw my boyfriend into the street naked. We weren’t even having sex, I was fully dressed in the kitchen, and my boyfriend was showering after his rugby game. My dad is also his teammate, and it was all a stupid prank by the team. I hate jocks sometimes. FML
Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad at a tennis game. I could tell he despised me from the start, but it only got worse when I played him. He smashed the ball at me and I went to hit it, but I missed and fell over, tearing my arm up on the gravel. He had a smirk on his face for the rest of the day. FML
Today, my father was cussing loudly because he lost at a Clash Royale game. He then blamed it on me for not sending him cards, and threatened to delete me from all his social media accounts. Dad, I love you, but you're downright insane. FML
Today, at a soccer game held by my girlfriend's family, some idiot went to kick the ball, missed by a mile, and hit the ground hard. So I started a slow, sarcastic clap. I got a load of angry looks, followed by verbal abuse when we found out he'd split his head open on the ground. FML
Today, I introduced my dad to my boyfriend. I gave my dad the middle finger and he thumped me on the head, as we've been playfully doing for years. My boyfriend got all mad and tried to fight my dad. FML
Today, at dinner, I stumbled over the words of the prayer and my dad is now convinced I’m losing interest in my religious responsibilities. To “bring me back to the Lord” he is trying to force me to break up with my girlfriend and quit the rugby team. FML
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Top comments
cgguardian 17
This is where you play the "MOOOOOOOM!!!" card.
ICastillo 25
That's some good old fashioned tough love. Get back on the field and slam his ass back.
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Comments (50)
Albarufus 13
"Hmm I have to win, so I'll just scar my son for the rest of his life!". The daddy of the year will be mailed to your house shortly.
kait11 16
I'm sure he loves you! He's probably just really competitive- I know when I play games or sports I say things I don't really mean. I Just sometimes get caught up in the moment.
alitbaby 14
oh my! my mother's like that with basketball, OP. I feel your pain :(
wanderingshopper 13
Most dads are extremely competitive. They hate for their kids to lose, but hate losing TO their kids even more.
coolboy675 16
Couldn't help but think of Base-ketball here.
stubrnirishiiiii 7
All joking aside and snide comments as well I would tell your dad (when he's calm and not being competitive) that what he says is extremely hurtful and way out of line to say. Parents generally take those conversations seriously. He probably doesn't realize he's being over zealous.... Hopefully
stubrnirishiiiii 7
And if that doesn't work.... Try even harder to really whoop his ass! Then maybe he'll say you r great offspring instead of an accident! Hahaha
bubble_burst 16
Oi! If he resorted to cheap shots to win, you could've used some of your own... like yeah mom told me as much, but don't worry you were not involved in that one.
KiddNYC1O 22
That would render any opponent useless... Especially family.
broncos67 9
You're a rugby player? You shouldn't miss a play.