Today, at a mixed-family game of rugby, my dad resorted to calling me a "goddamned accident" and eventually body-slamming me, just so I'd stop playing long enough for his team to score. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML
Today, my family are really into rugby so I tried out for a local team. It didn't go well, and afterwards I couldn’t find my dad anywhere. It turns out he was so embarrassed by my sheer incompetence, he got in his car and drove away. I had to walk 9 miles home, which isn’t easy in rugby boots. FML
Today, I accidentally tackled my own teammate during a rugby match, so our coach made me walk the 5 miles back home instead of driving me home with the rest of the team. FML
Today, my dad threw my boyfriend into the street naked. We weren’t even having sex, I was fully dressed in the kitchen, and my boyfriend was showering after his rugby game. My dad is also his teammate, and it was all a stupid prank by the team. I hate jocks sometimes. FML
Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad at a tennis game. I could tell he despised me from the start, but it only got worse when I played him. He smashed the ball at me and I went to hit it, but I missed and fell over, tearing my arm up on the gravel. He had a smirk on his face for the rest of the day. FML
Today, my father was cussing loudly because he lost at a Clash Royale game. He then blamed it on me for not sending him cards, and threatened to delete me from all his social media accounts. Dad, I love you, but you're downright insane. FML
Today, at a soccer game held by my girlfriend's family, some idiot went to kick the ball, missed by a mile, and hit the ground hard. So I started a slow, sarcastic clap. I got a load of angry looks, followed by verbal abuse when we found out he'd split his head open on the ground. FML
Today, I introduced my dad to my boyfriend. I gave my dad the middle finger and he thumped me on the head, as we've been playfully doing for years. My boyfriend got all mad and tried to fight my dad. FML
Today, at dinner, I stumbled over the words of the prayer and my dad is now convinced I’m losing interest in my religious responsibilities. To “bring me back to the Lord” he is trying to force me to break up with my girlfriend and quit the rugby team. FML
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Top comments
cgguardian 17
This is where you play the "MOOOOOOOM!!!" card.
ICastillo 25
That's some good old fashioned tough love. Get back on the field and slam his ass back.
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Comments (50)
eyesmile27 7
So I'm guessing you are really good at rugby and your father is highly competitive. Either way, that's quite amusing. You should take pride in the fact that your father finds your athleticism threatening enough to have to body-slam you in order to score.
Steve95401 49
I knew rugby was a rough sport. I didn't realize it was that rough.
iOceanus 18
It's now an emotional sport as well.
Szaszaspasz 26
I always figured rugby was like football, but without the protective gear. I heard of some guys putting Vaseline on their ears in case the are ever in a scrum.
NickaPLZ 26
Yup, Rugby's a rough ass sport...
LSS_fml 18
Is that you, experience?
Satoaoi 13
oh my
panicsdisaster 17
There's playing cheap. Then there's your dad.
RZB 11
Quite the family...
outoftown 27
Next game: Yell that his sperm weren't fast enough to make you. (Then, all you'll have to dodge is Mom.)
perdix 31
Who gets rugby strategy from a fortune cookie?
candiighal1121 14
Dude i play rugby im loose head prop n i say mean shit too even id it hurts it normally boost the players aggression...
tmmundy 17
26...Is that English you're speaking?
candiighal1121 14
Why is everyone booing my thing what am saying true. Ive played rugby for 3 years
HelloSirs 14
I play rugby too, but I can form a coherent sentence.