Today, a friend and I drove all the way from Texas to a small town in Colorado to spend an entire uninterrupted night together. Not only did he forget to bring condoms but everything was closed by the time we got into town. We ended up playing cards on the bed instead. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, driving home, my girlfriend and I decided we were finally going to have sex. We got in the backseat, then I opened my condom to find it was already broken. We ended up playing connect four instead. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had the house to ourselves. We started getting a little frisky when we discovered we were out of condoms. After a quick run to the store, we found ourselves locked out of the house. Now we have condoms, but no way to use them. FML
Today, I drove over 3 hours to hook up with a guy I've been talking to for a couple of months. When we start having sex, he lasted less than a minute, and then couldn't get it up again afterwards. I slept uncomfortably the entire night on his twin bed while he snored. FML
Today, I went camping with my girlfriend and best friend. They are now having blood-curdling sex in our tent. My friend is also my ride home. FML
Today, while trying to spice up our marriage, we decided to get a hotel room and roleplay as strangers who meet in a bar and have a one night stand. By the time I got there, he was engrossed in the football and on the beer. He didn't notice me arrive and when he did, he was too drunk to get the roleplay right. FML
Today, for my mom's birthday, we went camping. At night, my mom and her boyfriend decided to have "Birthday Sex" because they thought everyone was asleep. Trying to not make it awkward for me and my friend that I brought along, I kept still. Soon, I heard my friend going to town on herself. FML
Today, my friend, who I'm moving in with, flew up to drive from Pennsylvania to Texas, where she lives, with me. I went to the airport to pick her up and we discovered she accidentally flew to the wrong airport. On the other side of the state. I'm driving through the night to rescue her. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to come spend the night at his house, and on the way he started pulling over to get some condoms. I told him no need, I was on my period. He turned the car around and took me home. FML
Today, I went camping with my husband. We drove 11 hours to his favourite site before he remembered he didn't put the tent in the car. FML
Today, I went on what I thought was a solo outing with my longtime crush. He decided to invite a friend along. I had to pick her up half an hour away from town, he treated her to the movie we were watching while I had to pay for myself, he fingered her in the theatre, and made out with her on the drive home. FML
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Top comments
HuskyButt 0
I just wonder why someone wants sex with "a friend". And yeah, like #2 said, there ways to have fun without condoms.
diemoelol 0
Awww, haha. That's actually kind of sweet to me.
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Comments (170)
teh_bear 0
You totally deserve it. Bringing condoms isn't only his responsibility, it's mutual. Also, you could have had oral sex or he could have just pulled out.
engaged 0
really? this shit gets on FML and my shit doesn't? give me a break... you played cards.. are you ******* stupid? ever hear of oral sex?
blarney 0
you could have sucked him off
daspidermc 0
If you drove from Texas to Colorado with a "friend" I'm sure you guys could have cruised it for like an hour and found at least one gas station or convenience store that was open.
star_ver 0
YDI for relying solely on the dude for protection. You should be responsible for your own and if you don't know that, maybe you shouldn't be having sex. Stupid people FTL.
Nerdy_Soldier 0
Got any 3's?? XD
newyorker17 0
You're life's not totally ******. At least you're committed to safe sex!
zomgroflmao 0
glad wrap ;)
jewelzgalore 0
This makes absolutely no sense. You and your "friend" drove across state borders to find some crap place to have sex in? And you're so careless you forgot condoms. Congratulations.
jsmith87 0
Let's see... you could have done a manual, oral, dry hump, wet hump. And I am damn sure there was a shop open somewhere.