Today, my sister, who knows I'm severely afraid of heights, got me tickets to skydive for my birthday. When I reminded her of my fear, she stated that she forgot and should just keep them for herself and her boyfriend. My mom agreed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my girlfriend skydiving for her birthday. I insisted on joining her to make it a memory for us both, despite my fear of heights. I passed out twice mid-freefall and had to be saved by the instructor both times. FML
Today, I got a text from my mom shaming me for forgetting my sister's birthday. It isn't her birthday today, it's mine. FML
Today, I found my concert tickets that I've been trying to find for the last 2 weeks in my mom's closet. When I asked why she had them, she said she felt the concert was inappropriate for me so she hid them. I'm 20. FML
Today, my sister was meant to come over for lunch for my birthday. Turns out, she forgot about it. FML
Today, my mother told me that I could take a friend on vacation with us. Then she added that because I have no friends, my brother can bring his girlfriend instead. FML
Today, I went to the Grand Canyon with my family. Also today, I found out that I have a crippling fear of heights. My family left me on a ledge hyperventilating and having a mental breakdown, while they hiked for another 2 hours. They won't stop telling me how pretty it was and what I missed. FML
Today, I’m supposed to be a bridesmaid at my sister's wedding, but she doesn’t want me in the photos because I’m over a foot taller than her and the other bridesmaids, and it will look silly in the photos. I told her I won’t even bother attending, and mom actually took her side. FML
Today, my older sister threw an epic tantrum, demanding that my parents not pay for my 21st birthday trip. She insists it’s not fair for them to gift me a trip, since she didn’t get to celebrate her 21st. She didn’t get to celebrate because she was pregnant. Now my mom wants to reconsider. FML
Today, I found out that my dad paid for my sister's friend's airplane ticket so she could attend my sister's wedding. I would have been there myself, but I couldn't afford the airplane ticket. FML
Today, I bought my mom a gift certificate for a spa treatment for two so we could spend some quality time together. She took my sister. FML
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Top comments
freckleface221 19
For her birthday you should buy yourself tickets to Disneyland.
rg350dx 29
Say you're going to conquer your fear of heights, take tickets, sell tickets, acquire birthday money.
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Comments (93)
perdix 31
Poke holes in their parachutes AND their condoms!
vipirius 18
No! I don't think people like them should breed, leave their condoms be.
brackaman 18
I'm pretty sure once you've poked holes in the parachutes, the condom part becomes unnecessary.
Became_fml 10
Some people are just assholes
CallMeMcFeelii 14
I shall give you a soul for your birthday, 13. I got an extra one laying around here somewhere..
worldclassrager 41
If she was trying to have you overcome your fear that's not the way to start...
iiTzNeeNerz 26
*insert Dr. Evil meme here* "Forgot"
eternal_malaise 10
Exposing oneself to the stimulus that causes fear is one way to overcome a phobia. Assuming the plane doesn't crash, you don't hit the propeller when you jump out, the parachute harness doesn't slip off of you, the parachute deploys properly, you remember to deploy it before you hit the ground, and you don't land in a power line, you might actually overcome your fear of heights.
tj4234 36
A first time parachute jump is done with someone else in tandem. So most of your points are extremely unlikely. And unless you're on a power line with a metal mast (in which case you would need the power off to get off the line), you are actually pretty safe to touch a power line as there is no current flowing between the lines that would pass through you. Hence why birds can sit on power lines. Eitherway, i say OP should just go for it.
eternal_malaise 10
Apparently not everyone understands sarcasm.
eternal_malaise 10
A person is much larger than a bird and is more likely to touch more than one wire. When in direct contact with a live wire if they contact most anything else, metal or not, at 15KV+ it is going to be unhealthy. If only the chute gets tangled in the wire then the chute cords will probably insulate unless they are wet. There still is the problem of how to get down, depending on the height. IOW, getting tangled in a power line is not a desirable skydiving outcome.
bfsd42 20
#22, are you making shit up? Maybe learn about electricity before you spew out shit like that.
shanannygians07 28
#16.. My first time skydiving was actually by myself. I just had to take an aff class...
mario2012 18
Buy some tickets to something she hates for her birthday (ie a music group) and then tell her you forgot and keep them for yourself.
ariellove1992 8
She planned that
mario2012 18
No shit.
flohsch 15
Sherlock.
The_9th_Doctor 18
do it anyway. shove it in her face
mario2012 18
That probably won't end well for OP.
cheleybelly 14
I liked your comment simply because you're the doctor :3
mybright 8
I'd keep them, just out of pure SPITE! Even if you don't want to 'face the fear', give them to a friend, ANYONE for that matter, so long as SHE doesn't get to use them. Because hey, they're YOUR birthday present after all.....
AmorVitae93 6
u should keep them so she can't have them