Today, I was watching this TV show where a man was describing how much he loved this woman, how he made every opportunity to see her, and how he loved her in a way nobody else could. I smiled, because that's exactly the way I feel about my crush. Then I realized the program was about stalkers. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I spent 30 minutes listening to my crush complain about a stalker that's been sending her flowers and love poems almost every week. It's me. FML
Today, my crush confessed their love for me, and I happily told them that I felt the same way. They looked uncomfortable, so I asked why. Apparently they'd been paid to prank me. FML
Today, me and my friend decided to spy on my crush. He lives across the street, so we climbed on the roof of my house and watched him with binoculars. He was working out, and after 5 minutes he started writing something. He put a piece of paper against the window and it said, 'Stop watching me.' FML
Today, I'm in a long-term relationship with a woman I love to bits, but I have a crush on a coworker. I've tried to brush it off, but it's only getting stronger. The worst part? I think she likes me too. FML
Today, I received the only love letter I've ever gotten. Too bad it's from the guy who's been stalking me. FML
Today, I realised exactly how bad my social anxiety has gotten when I had a panic attack watching someone ask someone else out on a fictional show. FML
Today, I confessed my love to my crush over text. Later, she posted the message I'd sent her on Facebook and wrote "look at the pathetic man". The post had over 50 laugh reacts. FML
Today, my crush came to my house to watch movies with me. We were sitting on the couch when he turned to me and said that he had had a dream about me the night before. I moved in to kiss him, thinking he liked me. He then added that I had fallen of a cliff and he had pissed himself laughing. FML
Today, I realized that I'm head over heels in love with my coworker. She's funny, caring, sweet, and the best person I've ever met. We're also both married. I dream about her every night, and the stress of not being able to tell her has overtaken my PTSD, making it impossible to sleep and barely function. Fuck Love. FML
Today, I went out for dinner with my crush and expressed my love for her. She responded by saying that we should know that this is the real thing, and to do so we needed to date other people and let time bring us together. FML
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Top comments
O_fml 0
im guessing you quickly changed the channel...
dickinabox 0
NO, NO, NO, I LOVE HER. I'M NOT STALKING HER, OFFICER. WE'RE IN LOVE! Best regards, S
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Comments (119)
Misanthropist 0
Im sure if they said on TV that rapists use the internet you'd assume you were a rapist too. This is by far the worst FML today. Way to advertise your creepiness.
Superman8_fml 0
do the right thing, report yourself
CableX17 0
lol
NorfolkDude 2
LOL #11. That Bjork stalker is the sadest thing I've ever seen, honestly. I felt really bad for that dude. To the guy who wrote this FML, it's okay to secretely love someone. However, a stalker is different in that he/she has an illusion that the other person loves him/her back. For example, the Bjork stalker.
crazy_cat_lady 0
Well, at least you know that you have the potential to turn into a stark raving lunatic. Do something about it before you end up chopping your "crush" up and making her into a lamp.
Kat89 0
haha there is a fine line between being a stalker and a couple... the only difference is contact bhaha
twiceuponatime_fml 0
haha im sorry that is hilarious
patrickhb 0
The guy's just in love with a girl! Give him a break. He never said he ACTUALLY stalks her, just that he loves her and spends as much time as possible with her. Hell, she could be his best friend, from that description. Leave him alone!
denktron420_fml 0
OP is a girl
btopishere 1
the bjork stalker killed himself on camera. bullet in the mouth. the most disturbing video i've probably ever seen...
MonkeySpeaks 4
"it's okay to secretely love someone." That isn't love - thats fabricated infatuation. Love is MUCH different. You aren't 100% absorbed where you lose yourself in it. When you're reallyin love you stay grounded to reality. And thinking you are "in love" with your crush... IS NOT.... reality. Itso k to crush, but please dont confuse love... You're telling us you're willing to do ANYTHING for a person who a) you aren't dating and b) bc you aren't dating I will assume they don't share your...er... infatuation. Be careful getting into a relationship - you may have some codependent problems spring up.
dg72592_fml 0
that's cute, you're just infatuated. i used to be a lot like that when i was younger, getting really into my crushes and stuff, but it goes away when you realize that no guy/girl is ever that perfect. but in the meantime enjoy your innocence :)