Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat to take him to the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my family went on vacation. I had to stay home to take care of everyone's animals. I called my mom, who said she was too busy to talk to me. When my sister asked her who was on the phone, she replied, "The dog sitter." FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt deep breathing on my neck. I screamed, fell off the bed and busted my nose. It was just my cat. FML
Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML
Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML
Today, I told my grandma my boyfriend had cheated on me. She told me that it was my fault for not straightening my hair, and for gaining a few pounds. FML
Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML
Today, my brother put pepper spray on my toilet paper. FML
Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML
Today, I found myself sneaking into my apartment to avoid the old lady who lives next to me. Funnily enough, I moved into my own apartment because I was tired of sneaking into it to avoid my mom, who lived with me. FML
Today, it's my sister's birthday. My parents got her a cat. I have serious allergies when it comes to cats. When I brought this issue up with my parents, they replied, "This day is not about you, it's about your sister." I can feel my throat tightening already. FML
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Top comments
g3rusz 6
Alzheimer's and pepper spray don't really mix well. FYL.
Jimboom 12
File an assault charge against her. She will never learn otherwise. :-P
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Comments (41)
uxoriouswidow 0
She felt under threat by a young woman?
nick1585 0
number 5 your a moron file charges against your own grandmother who obviously has alzhimeimers you Jack ass
alexxss_fml 10
relaaaaaaax mang!!! he was kidding!!
CitizenSnipz 0
Aww...
blastvortex 4
Senility, FTW - it sucks to be you.
LatinoHeat 0
YDI. Clay Aiken would have karate chopped your grandma and taught her a lesson.
Lakus 0
Clay Aiken is a fag.
GAYbrial 0
On all the newest fmls you mentioned Clay Aiken. You obsessed with him?
Emperor_Jim 0
Your grandmother should be in a nursing home. She clearly has alzhiemers and / or dementia. And she's dangerous. What if she had been using a pistol or a knife instead of pepper spray?
CallMeHush 1
Next time you go to visit granny bring Chuck Norris with you. After the funeral, spend her money.
Morphs 0
America, where everybody feels safe...
15days2go 0
Well, that's pretty sad, really, but I don't think you're the one whose life is ******. Sounds like your Grandma is having a much tougher time. Sounds like she needs care, and that's not said mean-spiritedly
ColdGold 6
Oh. I bet that hurt. Good thing she didn't use her shotgun.