Today, my boss was telling everyone that he knew a guy who went to a college at which multiple people were shot and killed recently. Being extremely socially awkward and uncomfortable, I blurted, "That's awesome." Now everyone in the office is terrified of me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was leaving work to go home and ran into some people setting up an event in one of our rooms. In my socially anxious way, I told them they couldn’t use our equipment by saying my boss is a massive bitch. Turns out he knows my boss and disagrees. I hope he doesn’t say anything. FML
Today, I was talking to my boss and he said I was awesome. He went to fist bump me and I missed. FML
Today, a coworker at school yelled at one of our students to be quiet. The kid got pretty upset, so I went to comfort him. He held my hand for the rest of the class, telling me in vivid detail how he was going to kill my coworker. Now I'm afraid to look at him. FML
Today, my boss threatened to write me up, after I made a slightly rude joke about a coworker everyone hates. A while later, a colleague told me the same joke. Turns out my boss had gone around telling it to everyone else and taking all the credit. FML
Today, my boss came into the office asked how I was doing and seemed totally normal and happy, then said, "I have to let you go. I heard some bad things about you." He wouldn't tell me what he heard, or from whom. FML
Today, I was talking to my boss at the end of an awesome internship. He said he was really satisfied with my work, and that he had considered hiring me. Turns out he decided not to because I smile too much, and it freaks him out. FML
Today, for some reason, I called my boss "Mum" in a meeting. To make it worse, I panicked and followed it up with, “Can I have a raise?” Everyone laughed except my boss. FML
Today, I was talking to one of my supervisors at my new job. He asked if I knew a professor at the school I recently graduated from, and I decided to babble on about how shitty of a professor he was and how much I loathed his class. He then looked at me and said, "That's my dad." FML
Today, my boss told me she had a nightmare where her life depended on me, and I let her die. Now I'm ridiculously paranoid that I'm going to get fired at any second. FML
Today, at work, I casually mentioned I was meeting some friends for dinner. My co-worker's response was, "You have friends?!" FML
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Top comments
Charmillionaire 13
Socially awkward and people are scared of you; I think that's quite the accomplishment.
Pyro_Wolf 17
Of all the things to say...that's what you chose to say?
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Comments (126)
idealTHC 7
Just say, that you are in awe of the person who could kill people like that..
CaptainSaveAHoe 11
Not sure if you're a troll, or your about me makes you the idiot.
venus89 17
I'd laugh if I was there because I'm socially awkward. But for that I would pat you on the back. You scared the workplace, and kept your job. But I'm sorry that happened.
onedirectionxx 8
I do the same....
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Okay Harris & Klebold. See if you can parley that into a pay bump.
alwayswinning123 7
Not the best word choice my friend
RvidxrKlvn 8
"****, this isn't PC. EVERYONE THUMBS DOWN, THUMBS DOWN NOW"
SystemofaBlink41 27
But that IS awesome... No, I'm just kidding. That's ******* horrible. Did I scare you guys?
perdix 31
Start dressing in camo and ride that fear wave to a raise and a promotion.
dbugboy 8
good! assert ur dominance among your coworkers!
Warden1986 16
No...No.... You gotta say " silence, I kill you!"