Today, I found out half of the staff at work have been spreading rumours I'm sleeping with my boss. The other half are spreading rumours I'm sleeping with my subordinate. In reality, every night I go home to an apartment so empty that I don't even have condiments, to sleep alone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that the co-worker I have been dating and falling for is the same co-worker that had been spreading rumors about me and getting me in trouble with my boss. FML
Today, my lazy manager, who blatantly spreads vicious rumors about employees, one which has ruined a marriage, has started targeting me because her lazy daughter was legally fired. Now I'm known around the office as "the whore who slept her way up the corporate ladder." FML
Today, my boss came to see me because he'd heard that I was homeless. I'm not homeless, and the rumour was started by a friend of mine. FML
Today, I found out my boss hired literally the only person in this town who is an ex-boyfriend. I also work with my current boyfriend. FML
Today, I found out that my boss's ex-husband is my company manager. They are one office space apart and constantly shouting about one another. I'm in that one office space between them. In the office across from me? Their daughter. FML
Today, I found out that a girl who I really liked at work, who is my manager and with whom I'm friends, and who knows I like her, has been secretly dating someone else who works there for a month, and everyone at work knew except me, because she didn't want to tell me. FML
Today, I found out that a new coworker was spreading false rumours about me. I confronted her. and she basically ran to management and said I intimidated her even though other colleagues discredited her claims. She now continues spreading the rumours with her fake intimidation charges on top of it all. FML
Today, I found out that after working in the same office for five years, I now work with three of my husband's ex-girlfriends. FML
Today, I found out my boss likes to shit talk about me when I'm not around. The best part is that I don't know what I've done to piss him off. FML
Today, we found out someone got fired, and someone who was supposed to get fired, did not. I wonder if the boss is sleeping with employees, because all the men always get fired, but a few of the women haven't, and one cannot account for $30,000 in missing parts. I'm too old to finesse the boss like the thots. FML
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Top comments
PennyLane27 32
Figure out who is saying stuff, and take it to HR. Pretttttty sure that's a form of harassment. Ain't nobody got time for that!
RichardPencil 32
You need to keep condiments handy, just in case you do start sleeping with your boss or your underling. You gotta stay safe!
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Comments (13)
RichardPencil 32
You need to keep condiments handy, just in case you do start sleeping with your boss or your underling. You gotta stay safe!
pjsr 33
'Underling'
RichardPencil 32
It's a word! A good one when there's a possible sexual meaning.
PennyLane27 32
Figure out who is saying stuff, and take it to HR. Pretttttty sure that's a form of harassment. Ain't nobody got time for that!
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Why don't you have any condiments? What happens if a burger or a hot dog shows up at your place? What will you do with no ketchup or mustard?
Kl0wnPunch 8
welcome to middle management. it will continue for the rest of your career.
Alexandria79 22
there needs to be a sad face icon ?
_AHZ 6
That's what you get for living in Communist China.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Sounds like jealousy and resentment.
WTF STFU 3
You need to start ******* people since they think you are anyway and who knows ya might get a promotion.
Attacksloth 33
Is quitting a possibility? This honestly sounds like an irreparable toxic work culture.
Mike_Oxhard 14
Your only option now is to actually sleep with your boss and your subordinate. Everyone already thinks it's true and you're lonely, so no damage done. Except if either of them have a wife, then you should keep it hush-hush.