Today, I was jamming out and playing some air guitar. I somehow managed to knee myself directly in my left eye socket. I now have a hideously swollen face and a black eye. When people ask me what happened, I'll be hesitant to tell the truth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while playing on stage, the singer of my band swung his microphone around, straight into my face. I now have stitches above my right eye, and a job interview in three days. FML
Today, whilst tuning my guitar, one of the steel strings snapped and hit me in the face. Now I'm on my way to my first date with the girl of my dreams, and I'm wearing an eye patch and have a thick red line across my face. FML
Today, my band went to play a set for the first time. I'm the drummer. All was going well, and then before our first song I threw the sticks in the air, went to catch them, and one hit me right in the eye. I couldn't continue playing. Now I have to wear an eyepatch. FML
Today, in an effort to be fitter, I joined a Pilates class. Ten minutes into it, I dropped a 10-pound dumbbell on my face. I now have a horrific looking black eye, and half of my cheek is a mottled green color. Not to mention the cut above my eye that needed 4 stitches. FML
Today, I accidentally gave myself a black eye. I would laugh about it if my friends didn't start suspecting that my husband is abusing me, and won't listen when I try to explain what really happened. FML
Today, I decided to wear a tight, long-sleeved shirt that showed off my body. As I was trying to roll up my sleeves, I realized how tight the shirt really was. It wouldn't budge past my elbow, and I tugged so hard I ended up punching myself in the eye. I now have a swollen, black and blue eye. FML
Today, I woke up with my face flying at the wall. A muscle spasm had caused me to pop out of bed. I'm now dealing with a concussion and sprained neck, thanks to an almost physically impossible feat. FML
Today, I was trying to take the cap off a can of spray cooking oil. It was really stuck so I pulled extra hard. It flew off and I punched myself in the head. I also sprayed myself in the eye with it. The lump on my forehead and my swollen shut eye make me look like Popeye, but I'm a girl. FML
Today, I went to a gig. The drummer threw his drumsticks out at the end and I managed to catch one. With my face. Not only did I get a black eye, but the person next to me snatched the drumstick from my hands. FML
Today, I woke up to see that I had two black eyes from a cheerleading stunt gone wrong yesterday. I decided to curl my hair to distract from them. While curling my hair I accidentally burned my cheek. I now have two black eyes and a huge burn on my cheek. My extended family is coming tomorrow. FML
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Top comments
OnlyOnFML 0
The tough life of a guitar hero...
causticgirl 6
Yeah, I'd come up with a better story for that black eye. Make it a good one. Maybe something involving a mugging with 2 attackers.
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Comments (114)
DocBastard 40
When someone asks you what happened, all you need to say is, "You should see the other guy!"
skinthesnakes 6
I feel like with a clumsy as Op is they might state "you should knee the other eye".
thenomad 7
I had a patient once who had end stage dementia. She forgot that she could no longer walk and fell out of bed onto her face. She was bruised pretty badly on the right side of her face. She was very upset about it one night so I told her to tell everyone, "you should see the other guy." everyone's humorous reactions made her feel less embarrassed about the bruises, and we could all laugh about it together.
MeLuvBewbs 7
Say your guitar hit you in the eye
sarahbear992 6
mhmm I'd be pretty damn hesitant my self too. :P
Michyxo 14
Haha yeah, make up something awesome! My boss advised me to do the same when I sprained my ankle in a less-than-dignified way. He told me to go the bar fight route.
lksdliz 9
That's what I've been telling people for years when I get an injury. The older I get, the more horrified the looks I get are
bigredmonkeybutt 30
You're doing it wrong.
hateevryone 15
wow
SeemsToFail 0
I always do that but I dont get a black eye so sucks for thou
platypus505 5
Bar fight
silentandcliche 1
If you're over the age of 11, you should be hesitant to tell people.
OfficeNinja 5
You should tell them the truth. Everybody needs a good laugh every day. You can be the source of that daily laugh!