Today, I was jamming out and playing some air guitar. I somehow managed to knee myself directly in my left eye socket. I now have a hideously swollen face and a black eye. When people ask me what happened, I'll be hesitant to tell the truth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while playing on stage, the singer of my band swung his microphone around, straight into my face. I now have stitches above my right eye, and a job interview in three days. FML
Today, whilst tuning my guitar, one of the steel strings snapped and hit me in the face. Now I'm on my way to my first date with the girl of my dreams, and I'm wearing an eye patch and have a thick red line across my face. FML
Today, my band went to play a set for the first time. I'm the drummer. All was going well, and then before our first song I threw the sticks in the air, went to catch them, and one hit me right in the eye. I couldn't continue playing. Now I have to wear an eyepatch. FML
Today, in an effort to be fitter, I joined a Pilates class. Ten minutes into it, I dropped a 10-pound dumbbell on my face. I now have a horrific looking black eye, and half of my cheek is a mottled green color. Not to mention the cut above my eye that needed 4 stitches. FML
Today, I accidentally gave myself a black eye. I would laugh about it if my friends didn't start suspecting that my husband is abusing me, and won't listen when I try to explain what really happened. FML
Today, I decided to wear a tight, long-sleeved shirt that showed off my body. As I was trying to roll up my sleeves, I realized how tight the shirt really was. It wouldn't budge past my elbow, and I tugged so hard I ended up punching myself in the eye. I now have a swollen, black and blue eye. FML
Today, I woke up with my face flying at the wall. A muscle spasm had caused me to pop out of bed. I'm now dealing with a concussion and sprained neck, thanks to an almost physically impossible feat. FML
Today, I was trying to take the cap off a can of spray cooking oil. It was really stuck so I pulled extra hard. It flew off and I punched myself in the head. I also sprayed myself in the eye with it. The lump on my forehead and my swollen shut eye make me look like Popeye, but I'm a girl. FML
Today, I went to a gig. The drummer threw his drumsticks out at the end and I managed to catch one. With my face. Not only did I get a black eye, but the person next to me snatched the drumstick from my hands. FML
Today, I woke up to see that I had two black eyes from a cheerleading stunt gone wrong yesterday. I decided to curl my hair to distract from them. While curling my hair I accidentally burned my cheek. I now have two black eyes and a huge burn on my cheek. My extended family is coming tomorrow. FML
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Top comments
OnlyOnFML 0
The tough life of a guitar hero...
causticgirl 6
Yeah, I'd come up with a better story for that black eye. Make it a good one. Maybe something involving a mugging with 2 attackers.
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Comments (114)
cheerallie 4
Time to figure out a new story. Who says people need to know everything?
Ressamies 6
lol, I like to air drum, so I don't have that risk :D
x_Gainer_x 6
Start the Storey off with this... "it all started when I opened my closet door and entered into Narnia ......" and end it with this... "once the princess was saved we threw a celebration in her honor, the next morning I woke up looking like this....." The middle part is all up to you !!!!
benderbot19 0
No
TColby 12
Man, that takes some serious rocking out. What would be even more embarassing is if you were doing it to that song from Titanic xD
TheNewGuy03 29
That's possible??!??!?? |the kid|
kay_princess14 7
How is that even possible
Epikouros 32
You better make up a story that sounds more dignified, like being hit by a little girl after you tried to steal her panties.
truehitman2010 0
I used to play air guitar. then I took a knee to the face
husky22 0
you should tell everyone that u were on ur way back to walmart when u came across a midget with a loooong beard. He told you that u were the chosen one and that u must follow him to the lair. Of course, u went. He said that we could take his car. It was a windowless white van. As u reached for the door to the front seat he said, "no, you get the back" and gave u a creepy smile as he slid your hand to the back door. He let you into the car and slammed the door. It was dark. When he let you out, you were in an underground. Then he mugged u, but u'd left ur wallet at home so he just took a lock of ur hair and then ran away, leaving u. After u found ur way out, u were scratching ur eye and u scratched ur eye. THE END
anniekins 6
It's okay, I wouldn't tell the truth either
ilove80smetal 8
Try saying you got into a bar fight.