Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad has decided to that as a New Year's resolution, he's going to strive to wear pants less often. It's only been an hour and I can already tell it's going to be a long year. FML
Today, my husband came home from shopping with my 4 year-old daughter, and showed me a shirt she picked out herself. The shirt read "My mom's easy - I'm living proof." Apparently she just liked the colours and her father agreed. FML
Today, I was with my 3 year-old son in the doctor's office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML
Today, my 5-year-old son made a drawing of our living room, with the addition of an apparition, and the text, "I can see you. Daddy doesn't see you. Who are you?" FML
Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML
Today, at the local swimming pool, my friend and I noticed two cute guys had just arrived. When they jumped in, we immediately took off our tank tops and got in the opposite end. They looked over at us, then looked at each other, got out of the pool and left. FML
Today, my boss made me work a longer shift than usual. Not because he needed me in, but just so I'd finish at the same time as his brat of a son, and give him a lift home. FML
Today, I was at a water park with my family. They wanted me to stand underneath this big bucket filled with water. I didn't know it tips over, and my swimsuit isn't the tightest, so when all the water fell down, my swimsuit bottoms fell to my knees in front of tons of kids. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML
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Top comments
buddy51 23
Take this as a suggestion from your son and his friends that you might need to lose a little weight.....
Hurbel684 10
I hate it when people try to get into my pants...
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Comments (117)
akvandervort 21
Maybe the kids are like 5 year olds?
sanchezjesus368 7
that is still one big pair of pants. Maybe you should change your diet and work out a bit get a friend to come along its always more fun when you work out with friends.
Blahshabadada 10
Especially 5 of them in one go o.o
ShakeDisPlace 10
Party in your pants!
Pleonasm 36
Well 15, it's a bit of a squeeze, and they may have to find alternative entry points, but in the end they all pull through.
ns1985 15
How old is he?
asb818 14
5 "pi"es in her pants....yep, that's probably her problem.
Bakarra 22
Why does it matter? He could be 5 or he could be 50 and his mom would still be fat, you'd be better off just asking to what degree she is fat
ns1985 15
I don't recall saying anything about age determining the status of the FML. Do you see it anywhere?
ns1985 15
54- why would anybody ask such a question?! What a pointlessly mean thing to say
RedPillSucks 33
If they could get 7 in there, then you could stitch into your pants "Seven in one blow".
NurseJonathan 9
Which one of them just said, "Hey, dude! Let's see if we can fit into your mom's pants!" And then what went on in your son's brain that made him say, "Okay, cool." And nothing told him this is a slight bit creepy.
BellaBelle_fml 23
Not to mention very hurtful towards his own mother. Especially if she found out, and she did.
sanchezjesus368 7
I'm really curious as to what company makes that large of pants and how much do they cost?
whatthefreshhell 15
My brother used to buy his pants on Ebay, and they were fairly cheap.
asb818 14
Ringling Bros.
bdsabour92 2
You deserved it for letting your kid get so fat that his pants an fit that many people!
whatthefreshhell 15
Please reread the FML.
Ki11erC 18
Being as OP is from UK, pants is not what most of you are thinking. Pants here is underwear ;) Picturing that it gets even more funny.
whatthefreshhell 15
I know people from the UK and they say pants when referring to actual pants, you know, trousers.
interesting33 37
OP could have used it eitherway, but pants meaning trousers is very very rarely used in the UK
elastico 1
well their username is "fatmom" so perhaps it's safe to say that while she lives in the uk, she's probably not from here... many foreign nationals use american words here.