Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I brought my new puppy home. I saw her sniffing around, so I took her outside to do her business. She simply played in the grass for ten minutes, so I brought her in. She walked in the door, squatted, and shit. She has diarrhea. This is the fourth time today. FML
Today, I was petsitting for my neighbor's new puppy. A huge thunderstorm came, and the puppy started whining and shivering violently. I pulled it into my lap to try and comfort it. One loud clap of thunder later, and the puppy had explosive diarrhea all over me. FML
Today, I punished my new dog for taking a shit inside by putting him in the kennel. He punished me by breaking out of the kennel and destroying everything in my house. Including Christmas presents. FML
Today, my dog had an upset stomach and diarrhea. To avoid a mess on the carpet, I confined her to a gated area in the kitchen with sheets over the floor, so any mess could be cleaned up easily. Instead of going on the sheets, she sprayed shit all up the walls. FML
Today, I invited my boyfriend over to meet my new puppy. My dog decided to take a dump on his lap. He is now not talking to me because he thinks I trained my dog to do that. FML
Today, I went to let my puppy out, and I turned around to see her peeing on the carpet. After getting her outside, I saw my little sister pooping on the floor. FML
Today, I gave my puppy a treat for finally doing his business in the grass instead of on the patio. He later puked it up all over the patio. FML
Today, I decided to teach my dog not to be scared of the vacuum cleaner. I grab the handle and get it close to her. She runs off and hides behind the couch and pisses everywhere. FML
Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML
Today, I was able to land a nice apartment solely based on the fact that my puppy is potty trained. During the required pet interview, my dog 'got sick' and defecated all over the apartment office. I now have to clean the mess knowing that I will not be allowed to live there. FML
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Top comments
vocaloidtiger 12
It seems you've literately scared the shit out of your dog
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Isn't that what Lois does to Brian?
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Comments (245)
GlitterAngel 8
You scared the shit out of the poor thing.
MrsTeecee 5
Lmao! That made me crack the hell up!
spicemeister 0
Woah that is not how you potty train puppy's it is supposed to be positive never use fear to train a dog , get a new trainer
wuhangdilly 0
you like molesting dogs
JoeyLongstock 0
Cute ass puppy
jayyceeeee 3
I'm sorry...but I just about shit all over the carpet after laughing so hard.
chavot 0
Your trainer is a dumb shit for thinking that would work.
threecardmonty 2
my yorkie did that. I rushed him and picked him up to take him outside when I caught him pooping, only to have him wet himself all over me and the floor in fright... had to hand feed him table scraps for a week before he'd let me pet him without running away and cowering in fear. I've yet to redo the carpet, as nothing seems to get yorkie stains out of white shag...
mojogirl 4
Scare the shot out of your puppy much?lol Jk
Joui_fml 11
You deserved it for A) trying to "train" your dog, and B) for traumatizing her, especially at such a young age.