Today, my husband decided to flash me while I was on a video call, so my clients announced they would only work with professionals, and ended the call. I was giving a virtual showing of a £1.2 million house they were thinking of buying. At 6% commission, my husband's junk just cost us £72,000. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife did the 'flash me naked' thing while I was on Zoom with my boss and three board members. She then got mad I didn’t immediately make an excuse to end the call because, hello, board members, and even when I was done she didn’t want sex anymore because clearly I value work more than her. FML
Today, I was blowing my husband when we heard that distinctive shutter noise, and we realised our daughter had taken a photo of us. Apparently, she meant to take a video because she knows a website where any kind of "spying on people having sex" video will earn her $50. FML
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
Today, I got really excited at work over a deal I was about to close. I got up and started performing a rather obscene hip thrust only to notice a client sitting in the glass meeting room. FML
Today, my twit of a husband admitted to falling for an internet scam involving a dead foreign politician, the promise of a share in millions of dollars currently stuck in a bank, and him having wired a large amount of our money to "bribe an official". FML
Today, my husband has been in a bad mood all week, so I finally demanded to know why. He told me his favourite porn site has suddenly started showing adverts, so now he can’t wank in peace anymore without pop-up ads appearing every 20 seconds. FML
Today, I was working from home and had an important meeting with my superiors. It was fine until my sleepy wife came in and asked if I could find a better time for calls. I didn't notice her right away and failed to disable my camera. She was fully naked, and I received an email about inappropriate behaviour later. FML
Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML
Today, my husband has some issues, and has been going to therapy every week after losing his job, so I've been paying the therapist's hourly rate. Turns out they’ve been using the hour to fuck like bunnies, no therapy has ever taken place, and I’ve been paying for it. FML
Today, after days of working with a client on plans for a project, I received a message halfway through completion, saying the deal was off because my prices were "so low, it seems like a scam." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
AzraelAngelus 15
Kick him in the balls.
Anderling 33
Dude, this is divorce-worthy imho. Does he have a habit of interfering with your job or financials in other ways?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (6)
AzraelAngelus 15
Kick him in the balls.
Anderling 33
Dude, this is divorce-worthy imho. Does he have a habit of interfering with your job or financials in other ways?
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Why so quick to jump to conclusions? Hubby might not have known she was on a video call, or might not have realised he'd be in the shot, or that those clients were serious, or any number of other things. Yes you might be correct, but if you're going to recommend divorce you really should have more than a few lines of text to base that on.
Hangryko 32
Sue that manchild for your lost revenue and for emotional distress for not respecting your work.
poopface82 25
This is definitely a divorce-worthy offense. Plus a suit for interference with contract and possibly pressing criminal charges.
dewoe 14
Why was he even with you in there if it was a clients house?
Jonkbaby 23
Must be hard