Today, my girlfriend is actually mad at me for not noticing she was two months pregnant. Since we met she’s always had a bit of a belly, and her default clothing is always a big hoodie or dressing gown, she even wears jumpers to bed, so how was I supposed to spot that tiny bit of weight gain? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realised that my friend and I have the same cute, round belly. The problem is that she’s seven months pregnant and I’ve been on a diet with an intensive gym program since January. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait for us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML
Today my boyfriend overeats when he is upset, and normally keeps tight hold of his diet to control his weight. He assures me he’s happy about it, but since I told him I’m pregnant 3 weeks ago, he’s put on 28 pounds. FML
Today, I was carrying some bags out of a store, and my shirt had scooted up a little. I had no free hands, so I ignored it. A woman stopped me to tell me that bare midriffs are only attractive on skinny girls, "not fat ones." I'm 6 months pregnant. FML
Today, my wife got back from two months visiting her unwell mother in Australia. Her mother is a major feeder, so I was trying to be tactful about my wife’s weight gain. Our kids, not so much. They ran to her in the airport and asked her if she was pregnant again because she’s "soooooo big." FML
Today, I told my coworker she looked great and asked if she was “glowing” because she was pregnant. She isn’t pregnant. She is, however, going through a breakup and just gained 10 pounds from comfort eating. FML
Today, I bumped into an old school friend. I'd heard she was pregnant so the first thing I did was congratulate her. Not only was she not pregnant, but the reason she managed to get so fat was because of comfort eating due to her miscarriage last month. FML
Today, my girlfriend is pregnant, grumpy, bad tempered, argumentative, indecisive, violent, vicious, insulting, and dismissive. I mean, she was all those things anyway even before getting pregnant, so really nothing's changed except she has a belly now. I only stick around for the baby. FML
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. The kicker is, I'm 5 months pregnant and didn't even know it - no symptoms, nothing. I thought it was weight gain due to antidepressants and I'm also dealing with financial issues. I'm too far along to get an abortion, and adoption is not an option. FML
Today, a customer greeted me with, "So! When's the baby coming!?" I'm NOT pregnant. I just gain weight in my guts. FML
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Top comments
DLBL 23
She's being silly. Commonly nothing shows at 2 months.
eellik 12
Well, either she didn't notice it herself either, or she knew it and kept it a secret from you for a while.
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Comments (4)
DLBL 23
She's being silly. Commonly nothing shows at 2 months.
eellik 12
Well, either she didn't notice it herself either, or she knew it and kept it a secret from you for a while.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Four months I could understand, but two? That's overindulging at Christmas.
Chazzster 32
GF is reminding you she’s pregnant - There are consequences that you need to be ready to face.