Today, I found out that a family member found a publisher for his book; his badly written, terribly sourced, historically inaccurate book that insults and misrepresents most world cultures and religions. If this actually makes it to print, I'll never be able to use my maiden name again. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after working on my novel for two years, I found out that another book has recently been published with an almost identical plot. I was going to submit it to a publisher in two days. FML
Today, I found out that my roommate secretly edited a paper I wrote and recently turned in, so that it repeatedly refers to the famed author "Kneel Gayman." I'm positive that's not how it's spelled. FML
Today, I bought a textbook for my college class. Not only is the £150 book only sold by our teacher, it turned out to be a piece of shit that he obviously wrote, printed, and stapled together at home. When I went to the faculty about it, I was told it's all perfectly legal, and to drop it. FML
Today, I came home to find two letters from a publishing house that I'd submitted my manuscript to. The first was congratulatory, stating that my book had been accepted for publishing. The second was apologetic, stating that the first letter had been intended for someone else. FML
Today, I finally got a phone call from a publisher saying they would publish the book I'd written. I'd gotten loads of rejection letters, so I was so excited. Until I realized it was my dad, feeling sorry for me. FML
Today, I just spent the last 3 years working on a research project and published about it, read by a multitude co-authors and proofreaders. My mum just spotted it has the word "asses" in it, instead of "assess". FML
Today, my 6-year-old brother showed me the "books" he's been writing for the past week. My parents, who are first-generation immigrants, want him to take the books to school to show everyone. My only problem with this? The main character's name is "Wanker". FML
Today, I held a presentation about my masters thesis. Turns out, my professor never ever actually read the drafts I'd given him, but decided to rip me to pieces in front of everyone, saying that the topic isn't worth researching. I've been working on it for six months. FML
Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML
Today, my brother inherited a book from our grandmother that, in his ignorance, he donated to a charity shop because he’s “not a big reader”. I raced to buy it back, but someone had already bought it. The book in question: a mint condition, 1954 first edition Lord of the Rings, valued at £5000. FML
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Top comments
robbydoherty 0
Twilight?
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Faster than the speed of love by Brian Griffin
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Comments (66)
cessna_172 7
I feel you. My last name is Meyer. Hopefully the book doesn't become popular due to its horribleness.
HerrBawl 4
You shouldn't need to use your maiden name anyways
blueknight1st 26
Sounds like the OP is jealous. OP must have been told "No Thank You" more than a few time when trying to get their own book published.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Yeah, OP is jealous about a book being published that insults every culture and religion. That shame in having the same last name is just his jealously getting the best of him./sarcasm
ImaginaryFoe 1
We are not our relatives. Sorry for saying so but it seems like your over-reaction is fueled in part by jealousy. No one ever asks me if I'm related to the famous author who shares my maiden name. Surnames are fairly common for the most part. Anyway, the book will likely be changed quite a bit in editing before it's published. Even if it's still terrible, it may not be as bad as you think. There's always a market for shit.
SliceOfCake 9
Jealousy? Your logic is nearly as preposterous as Stephanie Meyer's parents being proud of her work.
skyeyez9 25
Michelle Obama, is that you?
THE_A_TEEN 28
What do the Obamas have to do with this FML?
perdix 31
Don't worry, no one reads books. It's not 50 Shades of Grey, so no one is going to give a shit about it. If your relative wrote inaccurate fantasy ****, you'd have problems;)
rattusrattus 19
Oh god, 50 Shades. The only book series where "published fanfiction" is an accurate description as well as an insult. It was originally a Human Alternate Universe Twilight fic with some very bad BDSM. And Tyler's Van of Doom (the one that nearly killed Bella) has been replaced by a bicycle. I know that people are killed by being hit by pedalbikes, but... it's like Spielberg read that more people are killed by watering their Christmas trees with the lights plugged in annually than killed or injured by sharks, and made that the main point of Jaws.
SkoomaKi 28
If it contained what you described, only an idiot publisher would publish it. I wouldn't worry too much about it. Change your name perhaps?
baby4mommy 27
HL Menkin once said "Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public." You'd probably be astonished at how many publishers make money printing nonsense marketed to narrow minded, under-informed people who want to read books by people whose opinions closely mirror and reinforce their own personal viewpoints. One of my favorites is the book Do It Yourself Brain Surgery. It's an actual book I just finished reading. There is actually an annual contest sponsored by the publishing industry that rewards the the authors and publishers of serious works of dubious scholarship that somehow make it to past the editing process and onto bookshelves.
suzy90 1
would your last name be Kardashian by chance?
KiddNYC1O 22
We know it's not Kourtney. She's kind of clueless.
cryssycakesx3 23
out of all of them, you pick kourtney? sure. they play dumb for TV, but not one of those girls are anywhere near stupid.
death_prevails 6
If these dolts are getting published, it kinda gives me some hope... Although, to reference another comment, I'm not quite literate enough in Ancient Stupid.
idragosani 17
You're related to David Barton?
dunker_fml 4
Who publishes that guy's crap? Better yet, who drinks his kook-aid???