Today, my coworker brought her 3-year-old son to work with her. When introducing him to me, she dropped her bag and bent over to pick it up, knocking him over with her butt in the process. When she stood up, she noticed he was sitting on the ground crying. She then accused me of pushing him over. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tripped over a kid at work. She was sitting on the floor with her legs sticking out into the walkway. Her mom caused a scene, accusing me of doing it on purpose. FML
Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML
Today, I was at work, photographing a baby boy. I grabbed a bench for him to use to hold himself upright. His mom asked if she should hold him instead, but I told her he'd be fine. Two seconds later, he fell backwards and brought the bench down on top of him. There goes my job. FML
Today, as I was trying to get off a crowded train, some asshole pushed past me hard enough to nearly knock me over. My bag hit a preschool kid standing behind me, and I missed my stop trying to apologize to him. His mom yelled at me all the way to the next stop. FML
Today, a customer at the restaurant where I work reduced me to tears by screaming at me, as I nearly knocked out his 2-year-old with the kitchen door, after he let the little boy play on the floor behind it. Apparently, it's my fault I can't see through solid wood. FML
Today, I spent an hour setting up a delicate display stand at work. Not five minutes later, a woman barged in with her little kid, who immediately went up to the display and tipped the whole thing over. When I called attention to the mother, she just scoffed, "Isn't this your job?" and left. FML
Today, I was in the elevator with my female coworker and a very attractive teen in front of us. My coworker reached out and grabbed the boobs of the teen in front of us, and blamed it on me. I got yelled at, kneed in the crotch, and punched in the face. My coworker couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down, laughing uncontrollably. FML
Today, at work at a store, I was sitting on the floor stocking a bottom shelf. A woman in a motorized cart did not see me, and ran over my hand. When I alerted her about what she had done she laughed. FML
Today, I visited my son at work and found his secretary in the foetal position under her desk, crying. According to my son, she does that sometimes when he yells at her for making basic mistakes. My god, I’ve raised a high-powered corporate monster. Fuck that poor girl's life and also, FML
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Top comments
RandomLG94 21
Maybe she's just joking? She MUST have felt her butt bump into him.... Sorry OP :(
lat187 18
I bet you're the butt of all the office jokes.
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Comments (53)
lonely28 20
That sucks. But if she doesn't believe you over something that silly, she isn't worth it.
niallo 23
The kid is 3. It should be able to talk. Ask it. Problem solved.
Nailpolishaholic 20
'It'
RandomLG94 21
Maybe she's just joking? She MUST have felt her butt bump into him.... Sorry OP :(
jtthegr8 26
She must have a really huge butt not to feel knocking over her own kid with it
AndrewMoreira14 19
I doubt this would be an FML if she were joking lol
neuronerd 29
Maybe she wearing that weird padded butt underwear. I mean it had to be pretty big to knock over a kid anyway.
mwali02 32
Some people are really just that fat that they won't notice a thing. Hope she doesn't knock her kid over like that unknowingly at home, too!
Xandrick 22
Wow. That is a complete "Bruh." moment...
Oppression_fml 19
Better be a cctv to prove your story or you might end up in jail for a long time. Good luck bub.
MrSassypants 34
It doesn't work that way, wolverine. You don't go to jail for pushing a kid on the floor, especially if you didn't even do it.
tranced_ 45
Jail? you watch a lot of crime shows don't ya?
MonstreBelle 29
Unfortunately the law doesn't take the heinous act of baby butting seriously and doesn't treat it like the crime it is. Something about real crimes being more important or some shit like that.
deitcocaine 14
Ur ******* stupid
XxDanno316xX 27
If you want to call someone stupid, you might want to use proper English or you will seem like the stupid one :)
deitcocaine 14
Today I was playing with my mom at her work and then this big meany pushed me over and put it on FML.
Lalala579121 28
And tried to blame it on my mom.
ShyVi 18
#41 Correction, "and tried to blame it on my mom's ass"
Accurate_Vision 31
She definitely noticed. It's likely she just didn't want to own up for her own mistake and blamed you for it. Don't worry, at least the kid knows you didn't push him and will probably tell his mother she knocked him down.
lat187 18
I bet you're the butt of all the office jokes.
MidnaLink 35
And she didn't notice you weren't near enough to push him?
Soninuva 41
You did it. No ifs, ands, or butts about it!
mixximoo 24
She was probably just embarrassed that her butt is that big. Sorry OP
toastbrot 9
you don't have to have a really big butt to push someone over with it... she was just clumsy and didn't realise it.
MsFit 17
Oh my God. Becky, look at her butt. It's so big. She looks like one of those rap guys' girlfriends. But you know, who understands those rap guys? They only talk to her because she looks like a total prostitute. I mean, her butt. It's just so big. I can't believe it. It's just so round. It's like out there. I mean, gross!