Today, my coworker brought her 3-year-old son to work with her. When introducing him to me, she dropped her bag and bent over to pick it up, knocking him over with her butt in the process. When she stood up, she noticed he was sitting on the ground crying. She then accused me of pushing him over. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tripped over a kid at work. She was sitting on the floor with her legs sticking out into the walkway. Her mom caused a scene, accusing me of doing it on purpose. FML
Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML
Today, I was at work, photographing a baby boy. I grabbed a bench for him to use to hold himself upright. His mom asked if she should hold him instead, but I told her he'd be fine. Two seconds later, he fell backwards and brought the bench down on top of him. There goes my job. FML
Today, as I was trying to get off a crowded train, some asshole pushed past me hard enough to nearly knock me over. My bag hit a preschool kid standing behind me, and I missed my stop trying to apologize to him. His mom yelled at me all the way to the next stop. FML
Today, a customer at the restaurant where I work reduced me to tears by screaming at me, as I nearly knocked out his 2-year-old with the kitchen door, after he let the little boy play on the floor behind it. Apparently, it's my fault I can't see through solid wood. FML
Today, I spent an hour setting up a delicate display stand at work. Not five minutes later, a woman barged in with her little kid, who immediately went up to the display and tipped the whole thing over. When I called attention to the mother, she just scoffed, "Isn't this your job?" and left. FML
Today, I was in the elevator with my female coworker and a very attractive teen in front of us. My coworker reached out and grabbed the boobs of the teen in front of us, and blamed it on me. I got yelled at, kneed in the crotch, and punched in the face. My coworker couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down, laughing uncontrollably. FML
Today, at work at a store, I was sitting on the floor stocking a bottom shelf. A woman in a motorized cart did not see me, and ran over my hand. When I alerted her about what she had done she laughed. FML
Today, I visited my son at work and found his secretary in the foetal position under her desk, crying. According to my son, she does that sometimes when he yells at her for making basic mistakes. My god, I’ve raised a high-powered corporate monster. Fuck that poor girl's life and also, FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RandomLG94 21
Maybe she's just joking? She MUST have felt her butt bump into him.... Sorry OP :(
lat187 18
I bet you're the butt of all the office jokes.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (53)
SecundusSecunda 27
Dat ass tho In all seriousness, how do you not feel knocking/hitting something or someone? Assuming she did though, why would she blame you? That's immature
msmedieval 11
As someone with a big derriere I can confirm that sometimes we do knock stuff down & don't feel it. I hope the kid at least spoke up & told his mother what actually happened.
Zilten 10
It's not that bad. I once (accidentally) elbowed a kid in the face and the mother didn't mind
HylianTwilight 21
Hah, I was doing my job at Walmart and I spun the carousel to bag groceries. I didn't notice a little girl (around 5) standing right in the way and I whacked her pretty hard. I apologized but the mom was like, "she knows better than to stand that close!" I'd hate to see this happen with the mom in the FML though... she'd probably flip shit.
oobergoober89 16
Well that makes her a big ass liar
MREDC 15
Hope her son is alright, he was at the butt end of the problem after all.
Hurley_fml 21
CAN SOMEONE PLEASE ILLUSTRATE THIS???????
worldclassrager 41
Then what did she think she bumped into?
shortcake18 15
That's when you tell her some big ass did it.
VoodooPriestess 16
I think she knew she did it, otherwise why think her kid was pushed at all? 3-year-olds trip over nothing all the time. They cry at the drop of a hat too.
8djht8 19
how do u not; 1. notice you're shoving a person regardless of their weight. 2. have a 6th sense that should've caught the kid. 3. accuse someone of that. WTF dumb bitch! stupid accusing bastard, you have more important things to do than pushing her kid.